Life — February 2, 1893 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LI panna YN FEISORS At NvLLy§ FACT AGAINST PROVERB. OFTEN with the proverb's plan Saddest havoc may be played. lan proposes,” said the man— “No, he doesn’t !” cried the maid. —Washington Star. “ Wuar's the matter, Cholly ?” said a friend of that young man's, who dropped in on him just as he was getting ready to go out for the evening. “+ T'm in a deuce of a worry.” ** What about ?” “Too many gu’hls gave me neckties foh Chwistmas, don't you know !”” “* That's nothing to be troubled over." “Oh, yes it is. I tell you it’s next to impossible to keep twack of which gu’hl gave which necktie, so he won't weah wong tie to see the wight gu'hl, don't you know. And yet if I go ewazy, I just bet they wil” say it wa cigawets "Washington Bvening Star. “1 DECLARE you men can’t write a letter untess you have a regular desk and office chair and big blotting pad, and I don’t know what all.” “Yes; and a woman may have a $200 writing des with everything to match, and yet she'll sit down on a stool and write on an old boo! New York Weekly. “ARE you aware,” said the man in the rear, fiercely, “that your umbrella is poking me in the eye?” “It isn't my umbrella,” replied the man in front with equal firmness; it's a bor- rowed one, sir."—Exchange. FE: A GERMAN and a Frenchman sat opposite each other at a table d’héte in a Swis! hot You are a Frenchman, I suppose ?” inquired the German at the commencement of the meal. “Yes,” was the reply ; ‘but how did you manage to find that out ?” “Because you eat so much bread,” said the German. There was a long paus ff When the dinner was over, the Frenchman in his turn questioned his vis-a-vis : “You are a German, I presume ?”” “To be sure; but tell me, pray, how you made that discovery.” ; 5 “Because you ate so much of everything,” was the dry retort.—Schweizer Volts mund. A Roy one day last week called on a Jefferson avenue merchant concerning a place. “+ | want an office boy,” he said in reply, ‘if Ican get the right kind of a one. Dp you want a job?” * Yes, sir.” responded the boy, chance of promotion.” “Well,” said the merchant thoughtfully, ‘that depends on the boy. ‘The last otegl we had here owned the whole place before he had been with us sixty days."—Detree Free Press. but before I take it I'd like to know if there is any BLANDE (sitting in his comfortable apartment): How I pity the poor such a nigk! as this! BLUFF: Then why don't you put on your coat and go out and see if you carpal render assistance to some of them ? i‘ Btanpe: Ah! then I shouldn't be so comfortable as I am now, and might fore the poor and begin to pity myself. That would be selfish, you know.—Hosfon Tras script. Mitpmay is a philosopher in his way. The other evening Mrs. M. gave him: scolding that would have set almost any other man crazy. But Mildmay said never s word in reply. He only murmured to himself : “And that is the woman I used to dasgt ‘on my knee and call my little pootsy wootsy !"—Boston Tronscript. 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Our patrons cannot choose from a 3 select stock of Sterling Silverware the now have to offer. Latest designs in table services, toiket a! fancy articles. Watches of the finest fore and domestic manufacture. Elegant Presd Mantels and English Mall Clocks. C= assortment of Diamonds, Rare Gems. Fis Bricea-Brac, Etc. Send for our “ Suggestion Book "it's fre! 36 Ave, de !'0; ve de l'Opera, ele. State & Jackson & Chicago WILLIAMS! SHAVING 8TICK. ONE 10 Shaves N71) Probably no stronger illustra- tion of combined Luxury and Economy exists. j One WILLIAMS’ Shaving Stick costs 25c. It will suffice for over 250 shaves—ten for a cent. DAty’s THEATRE. Every Nucor att! THE FORESTERS. Tennyson's Pastoral Comedy. with Salli van’ I Matinees Wednesday and Saturday. In preparation: aee’s Twetetn dN PENNSYLVANIA RAILROAL _ The Standard Railway of America. to the Golden Gate, Marvelous amount of Comfort for one cent! Attractive Prices. | lal Ket Tou 1 ES an exceptional opportunity to visit é hills West 23d St. For Lounging, For the Sick Room, For Steamer Travelling, For the Nursery, For the Railway Carriage, For the Bath, For Yachting, For Men, Women, Chiidren, and the Raby, 2.75 to $35, with hood and girdle complete. Samples and full instructions sent on appli- ication. AT. + NOYES BROS.’ 426 Wasnincton St., Boston, U. 8. A All you have guessed about life] insurance may be wrong. If you wish to know the truth, send for “How and Why," issued by the Penn MuTUAL Lire, 921-3-5| Chestnut Street, Philadelphia.” —CADLIFORNIIA. The Tourists Travel by a Superbly Appointed Train Of Pullman Vestibule Drawing-Room Sleeping, Smoking and Library, Dining and Ob tion Cars—an exact COUNTERPART OF THE PENNSYLVANIA LIMITED. Date of Startug: February 8th, 1893. March 24,1893. March 20th, | EXCURSION TICKETS (c:-Se.anscccoud toss include all necessary expenscs's directions, three days’ board at Hotel del Coronado, San D and transportation to the principal resorts of California. For the third tour all neces expenses are included for the entire time absent. Return limits of tickets for all tours adjes to the wishes of tourists. Tourist Agent and Chaperon Accompany Each Party For itinerary containing full information, apply to Ticket Agents or address Touris, 849 Broadway, New Yor Fulton Street, Brooklyn ; or 233 South Fourth Street, Philade CHAS. E. PUGH, J. R. WOOD, GEO, W. BOYD Gen'l Manager, Gen. Pass. Agent, Aus't Gen, Pass. A comicbooks.com