Life — May 5, 1892 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IT NEVER RAINS BUT IT POURS. HE Bild three aces ‘gainst a flush And then, to his dismay, He found when he got home at night His wife had shopped all day. A Goon story is told of ry reverend and very dignified master of an English college. Although *' the doctor” was a serious man, he was also a kindly one, and when a ‘oung man of his college fell ill, did all in his power to procure him good care and the bese medical advice. Finally the invalid's sister arrived, and as she was young and inex- perienced, the worthy doctor endeavored, by constant attention, to lighten her load of anxiety, She was most grateful, and confided to her betrothed, who was at a distance, her desire that only ‘the dear doctor,” the master of the college, should perform their wedding ceremony. The student recovered, and was now to accompany his sister home, there to be nursed into vigor again. “The doctor was present to say good-bye, and the young lady was full of gratitude. “Doctor,” said she, grasping both his hands, ‘* you have been so good to me!” “Thave found great pleasure in your acquaintance,” said the gentleman, in his most dignified and courteous manner. —Cloak Review. - LIFE: You have done ? much for me, but Iam going to ask one more favor! Will zy to ma me The doctor, amiable as he was, dropped her hands and started back in horror. My dear’ young lady,” he’ stammered, *I—I'm afraid we shouldn't get a together !"—Argonaut. Ir was her first essay at marketing, but she tackled the work with the beautiful hai hood of youth and inexperience. Have you canvas-back ducks ?” she inquired of the man in the stall. “Yes, miss, and they are beauties, and mighty scarce at this time of the year, Ay I've got mallards and red-heads, too. "You may cut me off three quarters of a yard of the canvas-back,” she said, in clear, classic tones; ‘and cut it diagonally so that it will not ravel,” and she look about for the yardstick to see that he did not cheat her in measurement.— Detroit Fr Press. Hovusenotper : I'm going to move to the suburbs next Monday, and I'd like yout do the job Movei I don't know, “Yes. I needed three wagons then to get through ; but that was some years ago.” “* Have you moved since ?" “Yes, indeed, half a dozen times.” “Hum! I guess one wagon will carry all you have left."—New York Weekly. Tue late Mr. S. S, Cox used to shake his head when he spoke of his failure to obua the Speakership. “I am like Tom Corwin,” be used to say; “I have been too fay for my own good."—Argonaut. pro ** How many loads?" You moved me once, you remember.” Medical “That excellent antiseptic... Chronicle, Baltimore. 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