Life, 1892-03-24 · page 8 of 16
Life — March 24, 1892 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "The So So School" and "The Average Dog and The Usual Man" This page contains two satirical pieces. "The So So School" is a humorous advice column mocking pretentious social etiquette through faux-correspondent responses about stain removal, dinner order, and borrowed teacups—poking fun at overly-formal upper-class conventions. The main feature, "Life's Fairy Tales: The Average Dog and The Usual Man," presents a moral inversion: a man brutally kicks a stray dog, then years later encounters it again—now transformed into a dignified, well-fed companion to a gentleman, while the man remains unchanged. The satire suggests dogs possess more capacity for growth and forgiveness than humans, inverting traditional hierarchy. The illustrations show the dog's journey from abuse to respectability, contrasting the man's moral stagnation.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE SO SO SCHOOL. ITTLE fancy, less of thoug In a web of meter caught— Let us hope you've had your day, Vers de so-so-ciété. ASSAR GIRL: The bitters are put in after you have filled the mixing glass with chopped ice. Actor: Apply a week mixture of ammonia and water to the spots where the eggs struck the garments. Potice ComMissioner: We think Dr. Parkhurst can supply you It would be useless to apply to the Police Captains, as they are entirely ignorant of what goes on in their respective precinets. WasittxcTox: Unquestionably the wife of the Private Secretary of the Third Assistant Postmaster-General takes precedence of the wife ofthe son of the Janitor of the Smithsonian Institute. Mrs. N, E., Bostox: We think the pie should be served after the beans, although among some of Boston's 4oo this order is reversed. YouNG MOTHER: After bathing, the baby should be hung on the clothesline to dry. Then he should be given a little soft mash and turned loose in a box stall, G.A.R.: Of course we are in favor of increasing the appropria- tions for pensions. We were born during the war ourselves and expect to’ file our application next week. Sarcast: Your remarks are wasted on us. We have had many such letters from people who didn't know enough to enclose a stamped and addressed envelope for the return of rejected manuscript. CoLoseL: You need not flee the country. No law has yet been passed making the Keeley cure compulsory. Cuottie B.; We do not think it would be good form to sue your prospective father-in-law for the ten dollars he borrowed from you, Wait until after you're married. Miss Birpte B., Cnicaco: We do not find the gentleman's name on our fist of acquaintances among the British aristocracy. If you desire further information, you might write to Inspector Byrnes, Police Headquarters, New York City, He knows the histories of almost as many English noblemen as the author of Burke's Peerage. withthe addresses. LIFE’'S FAIRY TALES. and The Usual The Average Do Man NE Autumn morning as Katzwynk, a benevolent but quick tempered brownie, reclined half asleep in the hollow of a pumpkin he was aroused by the yelping of a dog as if in great pain, Looking in that direction, he saw the dog was receiving some very energetic kicks from an irasci- ble haymaker. With every blow the shrinking dog cried aloud with pain, and with each kick the haymaker shouted, “Shut up!" which was, of course, a difficult thing to do ur- der the circumstances, ‘The dog all the time kept his eyes THE IRASCIBLE MAYMAKER, imploringly upon his master as if he ought at least to know the reason of his punishment. Katzwynk was disgusted with the man’s brutality and be- before realizing the importance of the act had skipped up to + them, tapped each with his finger and changed one into the other. Then away he flew. Several months passed by and when he saw them again he was surprised at the results of his deed. The dog, who was now a man, had retained his own nature and became a trusty and loveable companion. He was a friend to whose fidelity and devotion there was absolutely no limit. It was refreshing to see a human being with a dog's dignity and forbearance. The man, on the contrary, who was now the dog, looked sharply after his own interests, snubbed the unfortunate dogs and toadied the lucky ones, and cared little for his master or “IME MAN, WHO WAS NOW THE DOG." comicbooks.com