Life, 1892-03-03 · page 8 of 14
Life — March 3, 1892 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis This page from *Life* magazine contains satirical poetry and a short story rather than political cartoons. **"Modus Operandi"** mocks romantic courtship rituals—the poem advises lying on a Turkish rug, protesting one's devotion loudly, and using flowery language about "Brewster coach" colors to seduce a woman. It's satire about insincere male wooing techniques. **"O'Hooligan's Plurality"** is a brief comedic dialogue where Mr. O'Hooligan claims his mistress is superior to his wife, and she retorts it's worse than having "a father I am when it's thriplets, bedad"—Irish dialect humor about a pregnant mistress. **"The Pious Nobleman and the Blind Horse"** begins a fairy tale about a religiously confused nobleman whose gray horse strays from the Presbyterian path—likely satirizing religious hypocrisy or confusion.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
MODUS OPERANDI. O fall upon a Turkey rug Before her pretty feet, Protesting that the whole world holds No treasure half so sweet To squander stamps and choke the mails With daily billets-doux That breathe devotion fond and deep— Is that the way to woo? No, never say a word of love, But whisper in her ear The splendor of your pedigree, And what you have a year— The colors of your Brewster coach, The beauty of the view Commanded by your Newport house Upon the avenue. Her heart is sure to melt and thaw Before the cheering rays Of this new light which seems to show That matrimony pays. And when at last her hopes have turned Unconsciously to you, Be bold and ask her for her hand, For that's the way to woo ! ALE. W. O'HOOLIGAN'S PLURALITY. RS. O TOOLE : Good marnin’ to ye, Misther O'Hooli- gan, an’ jye be wid ye, for it’s a father I hear ye are. Mr. O'HOOLIGAN: Faix, but the harruf hasn’t been tould ye, Missus O'Toole, an’ it's more than wan father | am whin it’s thriplets, bedad. A TEA-PARTY—The Prohibitionists. LIFE’S FAIRY TALES. THE PIOUS NOBLEMAN AND THE BLIND HORSE. MAY years ago, in a distant country, there lived a nobleman who was an enthusiastic Christian. As no single creed couid satisfy his religious cravings he became a strong Presbyterian, a violent Baptist, a burning Catholic, a complicated Episcopalian, and the loudest of Methodists, all at the same time. Of course there were technical difficulties in being so many things at once, particularly as the various creeds all give the lie direct to one another; but the Pious Nobleman was not the man to be thwarted by trifles. Dur- ing the forenoon he would be, for instance, a Reformed Dutchman: and in the afternoon abandon himself to the delights of Calvinism. Whatever he was at the time, he despised all the others, like a good Christian. Now the Pious Nobleman was very proud of a beautiful high stepping gray horse, for which he had paid a thousand gold pieces. One morning, as he was riding to church, the gray horse kept on the Presbyterian highway instead of turn- © S is Res) Se pete “* PLPTY MORE SHALL COME TO YOU IF YOUR MISTRESS BUYS THE GRAY Kose.” comicbooks.com