Life — February 4, 1892 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A CONSERVATIVE, THE garden beds I wandered by One bright and cheerful morn, When I found a new-fledyed Buttertly A-sitting on a thorn A black and crimson Butterfly, All doleful and forlorn ! J thought that life could have no sting For infant butterflies, So I gazed on this unhappy thing In wonder and surprise, While sadly with his waving wing, He wiped his weeping eyes. Said 1: ‘* What can the matter be? Why weepest thou so sore, With garden fair and sunlight free, And flowers in goodly store?” But he only turned away from me, And burst into a roar. Cried he: * My legs are thin and few, Where once [ had a swarm ; Soft, fuzzy fur, a joy to view, Once kept my body warm, Before these flapping wing-things grew To hamper and deform At that outrageous bug I shot The fury of mine eye; Cried I, in scorn all burning hot, In rage and anger high— * You ignominious idiot, Those wings were made to fly!" I do not want to fly,” said he, “TL only want to squirm And he drooped his wings dejectedly, But still his voice was firm ; “TL do not want to be a fly— I want to be a worm !" O yesterday of unknown lack, To-day of unknown bliss! [left my fool in red and black ; The last I saw was this— The creature climbing madly back Into his chrysalis ! Charlotte Perkins Stetson. LIFE’S FAIRY TALES. THE WEDDING THAT WASN'T. YEAR or two ago there lived in Con. . necticut a man so superior that in presence all nature was ill at ease. Birds were ashamed of their frivolity and hid their heads when they saw him coming. Dogs blushed for their aimless lives. It is reported that a pair of horses once tendered him an apology for not joining the church. He never touched alcohol or tobacco, or said foolish things or rested his elbows on the table, or played ‘ds, or used slang expressio He never encouraged anybody in anything for fear they might sin in doing When he smiled it was with one side of his mouth at atime. Having no faults he was detested by all who knew him, but as no one dared confess this, each supposed the others loved him, Of course he was wealthy. The gentle maiden he was to marry also detested him, but without fully realizing it, for she had been repeatedly congratulated by her parents on her good: fortune in securing the love of such a perfect man, and she was too well brought up to doubt their statements. When the wedding day arrived every pew in the village church was full. Now, it happened all by chance, that Mr. Pinfeather Presto, a fairy of American parentage, was floating lazily along beneath the village elms that morning, disguised OUR CARTOON. UR cartoon this week is merely the old, every day story in pictorial form. The physician has an immeasura- ble advantage over other professionals in that no one is the | wiser for his blunders. Whether he kill or cure his reputation and his fee ren ain unchanged. This is a misfortune for the patient, and will so continue until the practicing physician is something more than human. That prince of extortionists, the druggist, into whose hands the doctors play with a readiness and freedom for which there is no excuse, is one of the greediest humbugs of the day, With the feeling that you have the doctor, the certainty of being swindled by the druggist and the possibility of assist- ance from the undertaker, the prospects for the thoughtful patient are none too rosy. comicbooks.com