Life — December 31, 1891 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CIFE AFTER the discussion of a list of good things too long for our limited space, the cloth was removed and LiFe and his guests pro- ceeded to a excelled. THE Host, rising to his feet amid a perfect storm of applause, ex- pressed himself as more than gratified at seeing so many well-known faces about his mahogany. It was seldom, he continued, that a host enjoyed the privilege of seeing gathered together at one time so many people in whom he took so sincere an interest (cheers). It was also a source of gratification that, of the invited guests, so few had been forced to send regrets. Those who had done so had been so affable in their refusals that he felt sure his guests would be pleased to listen to their feast of reason and flow of soul rarely equalled and seldom notes, Tue Host then read the following letters : SCHAPPHAUSEN-AM-ZURUCKBACH, Dec. 18. Dear Lire: It is with si vitation for Christmas dinner. cere regret that Lam obliged to decline your kind in- 1 am informed that the person who is now going through the motions of governing the German Empire is to be present, and it would be inconsistent with my self-respect to sit at the same table with him, Wishing you the compliments of the season and promising you that, if ever again I come into power, LiFe shall have the government printing, | am, Yours affectionately, Bismarck. Tue VATICAN, Dec. 16, 1891. Beloved Son: In these, our declining years, it would please us greatly to partake of thy hospitality, but it may not be, We fear that if we left The Vatican, even for an hour, Umberto might play some mean trick on us. Knowing the man, we prefer to take no chances. You have our bless- ing and our absolution for all the sins you ever have committed or ever will commit. Leo. SuEOL, Dec. 24, 1891. Dear old man: Awfully sorry, but it's utterly impossible for me to come. working ove Tve been ime for the past three months, and even so I've had to neglect many opportunities of securing results, We are enlarging our premises and are deepening the bottomless pit. We expect that the New Year's trade will be especially large and are intending to lay Ta, ta, chappie. Have a good time. Yours, Bretzenus Q. Sata’ several miles of new pavements, THe Host, after expressing his regret at the non-attendance of these distinguished persons, said that he expenenced sincere pleasure in proposing the health of a lady whose open-handed generosity the sun never set upon. He knew his guests (with one exception, perhaps) would be glad to join him in drinking the health and long life of Queen Victoria, and in listening to her views on “ Bringing up a longed applause. HER Majesty spoke first of her strong admiration for the host. She said that often on stormy nights, that all the doors and windows had been securely fastened and that the cat had not been locked out, she sat by the fire and spent many delightful moments with LiFe as her sole compan- ion, Not the troubles had been the proper education of her sons, One of ther:, to be sure, could not do much except fiddle, and he coukin't do that well enough to make a living at it. However, she looked with pride and joy on the varied accomplishments of her other children, For a num- ber of years they had succeeded in getting handsome incomes without doing any work, and she did not doubt that they would continue to do so as long as she lived. She admitted that other mothers had not the same opportunities to bunco an entire nation in behalf of their families, but that was their misfortune rather than their fault. HER Majesty then sat down amid great applause and vociferous cries of * Wales!" ** Wales 1" THE PRINCE OF WALES rose to his feet and regretted that not having expected to make a speech, he had not instructed his private secretary to prepare one for him, theless, he could not refrain from ex- pressing his respect and love for Lirk, and while he differed from his esteemed host on the tariff question, he felt that they were entirely in unison on the bac- carat problem and other important mat- ters of state. In fact he had made Lire his publisher for his forthcom- Muy ing work, entitled, * How to Win at 3 Cards; or, the Advantage on Your Side.” He begged that the company would excuse his when she knew least of her Never- early departure as he had made an engagement to exhibit his wardrobe to some young gentlemen of the Whippersnapper Club. Tue Host expressed his regrets at the prince’s leaving so early, but he felt sure that the guests would pardon it in view of the tremendous educational He would now, he said, have the pleasure of proposing the health of the German Emperor, who would speak to The American Hog.” EMvEROR WILHELM regretted that he had been sitting up all night watching his beard grow, and therefore was not prepared interests involved. todo justice to so extensive a subject. He confessed that his acquaintance with it was limited to the kind that was exported to Ger- comicbooks.com