Life — December 31, 1891 — page 47: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A POrULAR FIGURE FOR THE GERMAN ONE of Travers's best do mots was inspired by the sight of the Siamese twins, After carefully evamining the mysterious ligature that had bound them together from birth, he looked up blankly at them and said: ** Beb-br-brot I pre: Mr. Clews sys that the last time he saw Travers, the genial broker called at his office. Look- ing at the tape, Clews remarked: The market is pretty stiff today, Travers Mrs, Miller Dufly (an old friend): ARRAN, THN, MOR'RTY, 18 THAT YERSELF THAT YEZ ARE. WHER'R'ES YER MOTHER? Mortimer; MOTHER'S GONE OUT; BUT SHE SAID YOU MIGHT BE IIEKE, AN’ SO SHE TOLE ME TO ENTERTAIN YOU TILL SHE COME RACK, AN’ TWILL. (4 pause) Have vou GOT MONEY ENOUGH TO SET UP THE BEER? *Y-y-yes, but it is the st-st-stiffness of d-d-death."— Argonaut, TRAVELLER: What is that tall chimney for? Some one putting upa factory ? Citizen : Naw. ‘That's Jim Bisbee’s well. Cyclone timed it inside out.—/ndianapols Journal. PROFESSOR (fo students): Gentlemen, 1 cannot supply a better y S$: Does Miss P clieve everything in her Bible ? ; i Quenicus: Does Mls Pismi believe everything to lier Bible definition of mixed feelings than by giving an illustration. Suppose SyNicus: Yes, except the er birth. —Apoch, ‘Cynicusss: “Yes, except theentry of her birthi-stpock, your tailor and the postman, with a registered letter containing your N undertaker was standing on the street to<day when an invalid mping along. — monthly remittance, knocked at your door at one and the same time ! “ Why, dan, tman,” said he is out of bed again. lichison Daily News. —The last words of Billy Patterson, FOR - CHRISTMAS - GIFTS. The variety of articles in Solid Silver made by the Gorham M’f'g Co., from which to select choice appropriate Christmas gifts, is practically unlimited. The assortment comprises not only the larger and more costly pieces, but an endless variety in small wares, embracing every article known for toilet use, manicure purposes, desk furnishings, and personal ornaments of every description. GORHAM M’F’G CO.,, Sivversmitus, Broapway AND 19th Street. NEW-YORK. comicbooks.com