Life, 1891-12-31 · page 45 of 53
Life — December 31, 1891 — page 45: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century *Life* magazine humor: 1. **Top cartoon**: Two small figures (appearing to be children or cherubs) with an adult, illustrating a ghost story dialogue. The text depicts a ghost visiting on Christmas Eve to confront someone about their past death—likely satirizing melodramatic ghost stories popular in the era. 2. **"A Fair Substitute"**: Mocks a chemist named I.O. Tew who analyzed Jordan River water, then sells identical reproductions to Baptist churches for baptismal tanks. The satire targets both commercialization of religion and gullible wealthy congregations. 3. **Bottom cartoon**: A domestic scene where a woman asks a man for the time, and he misinterprets her request as a suggestion about bedtime. She clarifies she has an early morning engagement. The joke plays on Victorian-era propriety and the awkwardness of unmarried social interaction. All pieces employ *Life*'s characteristic blend of gentle social mockery targeting contemporary attitudes toward religion, commerce, and gender relations.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Is in an attic, like your own—an attic chamber of his brain. Occasionally 4e comes in, and, after stopping the keyhole, we chat abit. If he doesn’t come and the day is dull, I rattle my ribs about and pound on the floor with my tibia. “ Rats,” he says, when he listens; but he knows better. “ But to resume, “Thad no choice.” “ You think that if I had lived you would have died?” “Exactly. It was a horrid thing to do. 1 remember just how you looked when—I did it. But I wanted to live myself, you see, and— it was either you or I.” And here a singular thing happened. My ghost whistled derisively. I have never been able to explain how he did it. “You were too intense. Why will women be such bores?” And the thought made him yawn. “ Well—good-night! I'm sorry to have troubled you. But it being Chritmas Eve, and the anniversary of my death, I thought Why did you kill me?” -LIFE- I'd call around and me?’” 25 ask you frankly, *Why did you kill “ Well—now you know.” “No grudge, I hope!" “Not at all. Merry Christmas!” * Merry Christmas !" And Love—or the ghost of Love—went out into the white and starry night. Johanna Staats, A FAIR SUBSTITUTE. ‘ SAW that gay young chemist, I. O. Tew, talking to-day on very chummy terms with two clergymen. How did that come about ?” “My dear boy, that fellow has geniu: He was in Palestine as a Cook’s tourist, and it occurred to him to analyze the water of the river Jordan, He is now making good money by furnishing an exact reproduction for the immersion-tanks of wealthy @aptist churches. “cc E: I was j dontcher SHE (coldly): t reading about life on a cattle-wanch. So_ interesting, now. They brand the little calves so as to distinguish them. That is unnecessary in the East. 7 TIME: 11.45 P. M. ER—ER—WILL YOU GIVE ME THE TIME?” BUT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT THAT YOU THINK IT IS NEAR THE HOUR FOR RETIRING 2?” “On, No; BREAKFAST.” NOT AT ALL, I HAVE AN ENGAGEMENT TO RIDE BEFORE comicbooks.com