Life — December 31, 1891 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘LIFE: DIANA’S CHRISTMAS EVE. > W_ minutes after twelve, on Christmas Eve, Messrs. Spinks and Binks were walking up Broadway. They felt quite devilish at being out so late, for they were both members of the Young Men’s Christian Association, and the hall bedrooms of their respective boarding- usually contained them by half past ten, or at the latest, eleven o'clock, each When they were in the neigh- hou: evening. borhood of Twenty-fourth Street, Mr. Binks’s fastened on the tower of the Madison Square Garden. “Why, Choll: he exclaimed,” “1 didn’t know they had taken down the figuah from the towah of the Gahden. I'm quite suah I saw it theah when I went to the office this eyes became mawning.” “ Why, Clawence,” replied Mr. tower, “I'm suah it was theah at tea-time, because I wode up on the back platfawm of a Broadway cah, and saw the men lighting it up.” After watching the tower a few minutes, Messrs. Spinks and Binks gave up the problem as too expansive a one for their megatherian intellects, and continued the journey towards their respective domiciles. pinks, also looking at the The spirit of Christmas was on the town. It had wrought all sorts of wonders, It had softened hard hearts, it had made mean men momentaril: generous, it had brought happiness into places where misery had reigned before, and done all kinds of delightful things too numerous to tell. From Trinity, far down-town, Diana of the Tower heard the chimes ring out at midnight of Christmas Eve. Then Grace Church took up the strain of good-will, and a lot of little churches. all the way from the Battery to Harlem joined inthe chorus. It was a discord, to be sure, but the softening air and distance changed it into a melody of gladness. Even Diana was softened by it. Not only her metallic exterior, but the woman's heart within, changed from what it was in those old cruel days when she had punished Actwon for his presumption in daring to look at her and her maids. But what is this uncertain feeling! Suppleness is return- ing to her limbs, and her pose upon the tower is held only by her will! The breath comes back to her lungs, her heart beats, and here, far off from the hills and valleys of her loved Greece, she once more comes to feel the joy of living. The story of how Diana came to be in America at all, and especially how she came to be fastened to the top of a high tower, would make quite a little book in itself. Everyone knows how Jupiter was continually doing things which were unbecoming either in a married gentleman or a married god. Juno's jealousy is also historical. But it nas never been told how Jupiter found out that Diana was the principal informant of his jealous spouse. Dian: know, besides being the goddess of a lot of other things, was as you also the Goddess of Prudishness, and, as such, felt it her bounden duty to tell Juno every time she heard any about Jupiter. ossip When Jupiter found out where Juno secured her information he was naturally angry. As Diana was just kill he: When, woman-like, Diana tried to get in the last word, he improved the by adding the clause that she s\ as immortal as he was himself, he couldn't so he banished her to the United tes, ntence ould be fastened to the tower of Madison Square Garden. He also included the proviso that once a year she might spend the hours between midnight and dawn, away from the tower, and that when she should e of an adult American, who had never loved before, she might return to Olympus Jin winning the lo Jove thought he knew a thing or two about Americans, and that Dia sentence was pr. ticular Christmas Eve happened to be Diana's night off her base, and, although she was a stranger in New York, and had no friends to show her the town, she proceeded to make the most of it. (From the N ally a perpetual or his par- * * * + York Times, Dec. 25th, 1891.) s Officer Gallagher of the Nineteenth Precinct, was going on duty shortly “THEY FELT QUITE DEVILISH AT B SO LATE.” after twelve, this moming, he passed through Madison Square. Near the fountain he found and arrested a well-dressed young man, in an advanced condition of alcoholism, Among the prisoner's curious delusions was one to the effect that he had just had an encounter with the gilded Diana which crowns the tower of the Madison Square Garden, He also claims that he is Mr. Jerry Magnus, the well-known young man-about-town, As Mr. Magnus is young and a decided brunette, and as the prisoner's hair is absolutely te, his persistence in both his delusions caused considerable merriment in the crowd which witnessed the arrest. . . * Diana found herself for the first time on New York's terra firma at the corner of Madison Avenue and comicbooks.com