Life — December 31, 1891 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ITTLE Bobby never had a Christmas tree afore Until his pa, he got one at ther grocery store ; And Christmas Eve, when Bobby lay all tucked snug up in bed, An’ pleasant dreams 0’ Santa Claus wuz floatin’ through hishead, Little Bobby's father brought the tree in from outside, And then his ma, fur bout an hour her busy fingers plied Er fixin’ up ther tree ter make it bright ez it could be, Until it wuz er purty sight as you could wish ter see ; With candy bags an’ popcorn, too, stuck up on every limb, An’ lots 0’ purty things ter make yer eyes jest swim, Wall, I wuz there that mornin’ when ther little cuss awoke— Ther little feller so tuk back that nary word he spoke— Jest walked around and round that tree, er taking it all in, An’ we all keeping jest as quiet—yer might have heard a pin. And then he spoke up solemn hke, an’ to his pa, sez he, “‘T wonder, pa, if there is seed er growin’ on that tree ? Has Santa Claus left any there, do you suppose, to-day ? "Cause if he has, l'd like ter go an’ plant some right away.” Tom Masson. A SLIGHT DELAY. RS. PINKERLY: The boy has just come with that lovely Christmas present I got for you to-day, dear. M He is waiting in the hall, now. PINKERLY: How kind (475s) and thoughtful of you, dear. (Késs, kiss.) 1 am just dying to see what itis. (/mpatently) Why don’t you have the boy bring it up ? Mrs. PINKERLY (embarrassed): The fact is—er—darling, it has come C. O, D. CHEATING THE PASCAL. > HE: Is he superstitious ? HE: Yes; he wants his house to be numbered “ Baker's 72” instead of 13. QQENELOPE: I suppose if you did not continually suck that cane-head you would not know what to do with it ? O yes, indeed; but I wouldn’t know what to do with my mouth, you know, THE REWARD OF VIRTUE. EV. DR. PRIMROSE: I'm afraid there has been little joy in the present festive season for you, my good woman. Mrs. McGinNis: True fur yez, sorr. Me son in the piniten- chery wuz the only one of the family to hev turkey fer Thanks- ing. UNSTATESMAN-LIKE. * “THERE goes a man who left. Congress poorer than he was when he entered it.” “Ah! A good proof of his splendid integrity !”" “Oh, no—of his miserable luck at poker.” “HAVING IT OUT.” comicbooks.com