Life, 1891-03-12 · page 3 of 14
Life — March 12, 1891 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "The Family Skeletons' Ball" This satirical poem and illustration mock corrupt public figures through the metaphor of skeletons—representing their hidden scandals and moral failings—attending a midnight ball. The verse describes skeletal "political bosses" with damning secrets: one whose fingers "turned to dross" (corruption), another with a "tongue all chained by fire" (silenced liar), and characters bearing "Cain of character" marks. The dense illustration shows skeletons dancing together, their "naked bones" making noise—meaning their scandals cannot be hidden despite attempts at secrecy. The joke is that powerful corrupt figures can maintain respectability in daylight, but their true nature (skeletons) emerges in darkness. The satirical "Reporters' Definitions" below mock journalistic euphemisms used to describe these same figures more politely.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
NUMBER 428. - — A TIMELY WEDDING. _ Y, se YF papa, Jack is poor, but he ‘ | { loves me. Mayn’t 1. marr LE oN : ” : him, papa?" “Well, yes, if you want to.” all > “ You dear old thing—but when?” “ Immediately.” ID you hear of the family skeletons’ ball ? “Oh, but you know it’s Lent.” From many acloset in many a wall— “Yes, but wouldn’t it be well to get Many a gorgeously gilded wall— broken in to fasting right away?” Thro’ passages curtained with many a pall, ae trooped to a subterranean hall ; ARLY to bed and early to rise, eletons spare and skeletons tall, ; f Skeletons stout and skeletons small. makes little boys very tired. There were skeletons grim and skcletons grinning, Skeletons sinned against, skeletons sinning. Skeletons staggering up from the mud, skeletons stained with innocent blood Here was a great political boss, The gold in whose fingers had turned to dross. And one with a tongue all chained by fire Because its owner had been a liar; He had stabbed reputations all in the dark And this Cain of character bore his mark. ‘Twas a sight to see how the partners met, How skeleton couples danced each set, Danced till their naked bones were wet With an oozy, clammy, horrible sweat; And they needed never a castanet, For their joints made a noise one couldn't forget, If one heard it once one would hear it yet. Otherwise there was no music at all At the family skeletons’ midnight ball. Kemper Bocock. REPORTERS’ DEFINITIONS, ROMINENT CITIZEN—The janitor of the flat in which the couple lived. Pretry GiRL—The unmarried woman in the case. Petire—Weighing less than 180 pounds, BRUNETTE—Any woman not a blonde. BLONDE—Any woman not a brunette. Dutt THuD—Anything falling without rebound (except salary). Hoocaust—A fire attended by fatal results to human or animal life. TiNDER-Box—The building in which the fire occurred (syn., rattle-trap). comicbooks.com