Life — December 18, 1890 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE- 359 Lirtie Mamie, during her arithmetic lesson, recently asked her school teacher how old she was. Said the teacher, who had already passed her thirtieth birthday, with the naiveté of which ladies are sometimes capable when confronted with awkward questions: “I can only say, my dear, I have passed addition and have entered subtraction.” ‘The child looked puzzled and the teacher smiled a wise, far away NICHT WAHR? smile.—New York. Mercury. F all the tortures known to man The greatest, we assert, Daprer: What is the greatest lie, Snapper, that ever expressed Is to wear a fifteen collar itself on your experience ? Upon a sixteen shirt. SNAPPER: Well, by all odds, the worst lie Lever heard was the one your quartet perpetrated last night when they came round to the house and sang ‘There's music in the air."—Boston Courter. “HENRY,” she observed sadly, ‘you certainly have changed ! What has come over you lately to make you so haughty ?”” ** Miss Twilling,” stiffly replied the young man, while the pleasant relations which have heretofore existed between us will, I trust, remain unchanged, at the same time I find it necessary to maintain the proper amount of dignity in accordance with the more exalted position which I now hold in society. You are evidently not aware of the fact, but I SUNDAY SCHOOL SUPERINTENDENT: Who led the children of have recently invested some of my capital in, and I am now wearing, a _ Israel into Canaan ? Will one of the smaller boys answer ? suit of genuine silk underwear."—Clothier and Furnisher. No reply Sure: NDENT (somewhat sternly): Can't no one tell? Little + “AN Arctic night, lasting as it does 141 days, is no joke, can tell boy on that seat next to the aisle, who led the children of Israel into you ; [should not care to go through it again !” Canaan ? “Why, man, I think it is splendid ; fancy saying toa creditor : Livre Roy (badly frightened): Wt_wasn’t me. I—I just moved “+ Please call again to-morrow morning !""—O Thomarense. yere last week fm Mizzoury.—Chicago Tribune. Brown; The law in this State gives the widow her third, doesn’t it? Jones: Not until after she has got rid of the second.—Lxchange. “ee ‘| A. SAEGKEL, | OAKLEY'S” as Soft as Silk. - | ellotrope sachet A Kansas Girl on Horseback "<j 211 OAKLEY’S my time in the open air in the saddle, on the prairie, and in spite of the sharp western winds, my skin is as soft as silk, and as fairas any one ere epee ates i Se Handkerchief Extracts thing for the complexion. Packer's Tar Soap is pure, mild and curative. AS A ary en Dain andl Skane. cinreeoies \ ae Are of acknowledged while it cleanses, oe Superiority. A Pretty Box of Two Bottles 114 ounce size, makes a Reasonable and Acceptable Holi- day Gift. No. 11 East 19th Street, Received the Grand Gold Med- % al at the Paris Expo- OAKLEY’S sition, 1889. ARE YOU GOING TO CORRESPOND? Use only the “ Whiting Standard Papers.” You will find them to fill all the requirements of polite society. Every 10 HELIO-VIOLET Sacer powner: dealer in the United States can supply you with the fine cor- respondence papers made exclusively by the Whiting Paper For Sale by all Dealers. |Company, of Holyoke, Mass. Use no others. New York Offices, 150 and 152 Duane Street. comicbooks.com