Life, 1890-12-18 · page 12 of 14
Life — December 18, 1890 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Life Magazine Page 358 - Satire Explanation This page contains several short humorous sketches typical of *Life* magazine's satirical format: **"Hard Pressure"**: A joke about a man named Travers becoming a sprinter—forced by his creditors chasing him. The humor relies on the pun that financial pressure literally makes him run. **"The Same, Yet Different"**: An amateur photographer learns technique from an expert but can't actually execute it—mocking the gap between instruction and ability. **"Still Running"**: Women at the opera were too busy gossiping to hear the actual performance, satirizing society ladies' superficiality. **Main Satire**: The lengthy attack on *Ladies' Home Journal* for recommending an absurdly excessive Christmas breakfast menu (fried oysters, waffles, beefsteak, sausage, etc. together). *Life* sarcastically predicts this indigestible combination will cause family misery—husbands raging, children fighting—rather than Christmas cheer. This mocks both the magazine's impractical advice and wealthy excess. **"Bacilli Lament"**: Bacteria mourn their defeat by modern medicine (Pasteur and Koch), comparing themselves to exploited groups facing extinction.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
358 - LIFE - HARD PRESSURE. AGWAY: Have you heard the news about Travers? J raining to become a sprinter. What forced him to that ? JaGway: Hiscreditors. THE SAME, YET DIFFERENT. IRST AMATEUR PHOTOGRAPHER: Did that expert show you how it was done ? COND AMATEUR PHOTOGRAPHER: Yes, but he didn’t show me how to do it. Liaee Hl STILL RUNNING. ‘WERE YOU AT THE OPERA LAST NIGHT?” “ Yes." “AVHAT DID YoU NEAR?" “A. VERY INTERESTING CONVERSATION BETWEEN TWP LADIES AND A DUDE IN ONE OF THE BOXES.” HE Ladies’ Home Journal, a publication which claims to have a large circulation among the women of this country cold-bloodedly recommends the following conglom- eration to its readers for a Christmas breakfast : Malaga Grapes. Florida Oranges. Oatflake and Cream. Hot Rolls. Fried Oysters. Waffles, Cream Toast. Beefsteak. Potato Chips. Big Hominy. Fried Sausage. Coffee. Possibly some deluded women, because they see this bar- THE USUAL REMEDIES. barous array in print, will inflict it on their helpless families. Customer: 1 Ait TROUBLED WITIL RATS IN HY ROOM: And in those households Christmas which should be merry Diiegiee “Vek, faens BESIDE OR-ANMONIA COREA? will become a day of gloom and sour looks and strife. When the fried oyster on which has been piled waffles, and beef- steak and big hominy and the deadly sausage refuses to digest, the wretched husband will arise and brain the ignorant OR ages we lived, and on mankind we preyed, wife who has brought such a weight of woe on a family that With none to molest us or make us afraid ; wanted to enjoy a merry Christmas. And perhaps when lit- In decillions we throve and quintillions were born, tle Tommy is gouging out little Billy's eyes, and Emily is To render our enem, dragging Susie around by the hair, the gods of gastronomy will visit the barbarian who put such a bill of fare in print and compel him to eat his own meal from Malaga grapes to coffee without omitting a single item. THE LAMENT OF THE BACILLI. man, more forlorn ; Though Lilliputs we, yet our forces united At last have our Brobdignag foemen affrighted, And with lymph they assail us, till now, like poor Lo, Or Chinese cheap labor, v € fated to "go." So, trim little headstones we last week bespoke, TO And we yield up our spirits to Pasteur and Koch! A CHICAGO IDEA—Armour omnia vincit. comicbooks.com