Life — November 27, 1890 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MOONLIGHT ON THE LAGOONS. Gondolier (hesitatingly, to tourist) : YOU NOT DE MOON, Z€ CHE RELL! LUNA, IN AMERIC’? Tourist: WW TAINLY WE HAVE; WHY DO YOU ASK THAT? Gondolier (apologetically): Becaus' AMERICAN ALWAYS SAY ZE FIRST THING, * LET US GOA OUT AND GAZE UPON 7 MOON." SCUSATA, MIA SIGNORI; BUT HAVA z THE MODERN DRAMA. MANAGER TO AUTHOR. AY, young man, I want a play, A good one, too, to be a go; One of the kind they like to-d: Not the old sort, dull and slow. A prize fighter’s my leading man, So just ring in a scrap or two; Make it lively, if you can— A three-round bout I think will do. The heroine who sces the fight Must have some taking lines, you know. Have her allude to his terrible right When he knocks the cringing villain low. Then I intend to har tank Filled with water crisp and clear. And the real burglar who breaks a bank Must have a horribly black career, You needn't worry about a plot, It isn’t needed in the play; And leave out sentimental rot, For modern shows ain't built that way. One thing more you might include, Thar'll give the audience a chill ; The comedy man enacts a dude; Have him cut in two in a real saw mill. J. Clarence Hyde. SS WEST: Monsieur Le Blanc, don’t you think my brother is very funny ? M. Le BLANC: Very reedeeculous, Miss West; very teedeeculous, indeed. DIFFERENT STYLES OF PAINTING. D*s : I was paid for my last painting to-day. MADAME: Ah, indeed! What is going to be your next subject ? Daus: The town, IN A BOSTON SCHOOL-ROOM. CHER : Spell “ Wuhnt.” ~ Fr PupiL: W-a-s-n-apos- oN trophe-t, “Wuhnt. 7 TEACHER: “ Abnt.” SECOND PUPIL: I-s-n-apostrophe-t, “ Abnt.” TEACHER: Right; next, * Poll.” TuirRD PupiL: P-a-u-l, “ Poll.” TEACHER : Correc! Thuhty.” Fourtn Pupt -h-i-r-t-y, * Thuh TEACHER: Very good. That will do. \ «ss I 'M feeling very ill again, Doctor. you think I'm going to die?" *My dear madam, compose yourself. That is the last thing in the world that is going to happen tofyou.” Right: next, spell Do Clerk: HERE, Young Feller: Ou, WE Dox'T, DON'T WE? WELL, MAY NE WE WOULD LIKE TO COME ON THIS SIDE OF THE COUNTER AND TAKE THE CIGAR AWAY! (Puffs violently.) TSAY, YOUNG FELLER, WE DON'T ALLOW SMOKING comicbooks.com