Life, 1890-06-12 · page 7 of 20
Life — June 12, 1890 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Life Magazine Page (Volume XV, Number 389) This page contains two satirical poems with accompanying illustrations. **"Ballad of a Blighted Being"** presents a female speaker lamenting her failed attempts at flirtation and romance. The poem mocks the social awkwardness of a woman trying to attract men's attention, with the punchline referencing St. Vitus dance (a neurological disorder causing involuntary movements)—suggesting her dancing was so poor it resembled a disease. **"Covering the Whole Question"** is a brief joke about an old man's persistent cough, playing on double meanings of "cough" as both illness and evasion. The illustrations are period sketches depicting the scenarios. The satire targets social expectations around courtship and gender performance, typical of early 20th-century Life magazine humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
I practiced blushing till mamma (Who always fears the worst) With apoplexy in her mind, Forbade me lest I burst. I've simpered, bridled, tossed my head, Sighed, pouted, all in vain; Society with one accord Pronounces me insane. So nolens volens 1 resign My last despairing hope. It's hard to teach an elephant To dance upon a rope— But if 1 patiently endure These prosy earthly days, Perhaps in heaven I shall have Some little witching ways! MEOW. COVERING THE WHOLE QUESTION. Besse Say. old’ man, what are you doing for that Griccs: Coughing. BALLAD OF A BLIGHTED BEING. DON'T know why I shouldn't flirt Like other girls—and yet Somehow, whenever I attempt To dally or coquet My efforts seem to fill the world With wonder and amaze. O dear! I only wish I had Some little witching ways ! My sisters often used to try To put me on the track, And once I learnt to roll my eyes— A captivating knack— But all the men on whom I turned “JOUN, HAVE YOU SANDED THE SUGAR, AND WATERED THE That sudden sidelong glance MILK AND MOLASSES?” Looked scared to death, and asked me if “Yes, sir.” Thad St. Vitus dance. ‘THEN YOU MAY COME INTO PRAYERS.” comicbooks.com