Life — June 12, 1890 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: LOOKING BACKWARD. UNCLE GEORGE, what is that strange looking object ? “ That, Tommy, is a sleigh, such as was used by your great-grandfather prior to the dis- appearance of the Ice Age from North America, in the year 1890. When we return to the house I will read to you of the, to us, strange Customs and Traditions of our forefathers at a time when, for a portion of the year the land was covered with Snow and Ice, creating a period known as ‘ Winter,’ a word still in use among our Younger Poets. It is marked ‘ Obsolete,’ however, in the Revised Dictionaries. It will also interest you to hear of the peculiar people known as Coal Barons and Plumbers, and of their subsequent Down- falland Humiliation. Also of the strange Devices, known as * Weather Strips,’ ‘Steam Heaters,’ and ‘ Hot Scotch,’ with which the people sought to mitigate the Hardships of the period. I will then recite to you a recent\poem (by a de- cendant of the author of ‘The Ship in the Desert,” Joaking Miller), entitled ‘ The Sleigh in the Tropics.’ ” AFTERNOON TEA. HERE'S no harm in a cup of tea, But ah, dear me! When I look up above the cup Two eyes I see. Within the cup are grounds of tea, Alas for me; With the eyes no ground there lies Of hope for me. When tea's accomp'nied in this wise By siren’s eyes, Accept the cup, but don’t look up, There danger lies. OVERMATCHED. ILES: What did Terwilliger say about the twins ? MERRITT: Said it was one too many for him. 2 HO would not be a boy?" demands the poet. Well, the girl with a new engagement ring wouldn't, for one. 5 SAVED! R. PRESIDENT,” said Baby McKee, one morning after breakfast to Mr. Harrison, while the later was busily engaged in gathering together the crumbs left on the table from that meal, to be made into a bread pudding for dinner. “ Mr, President, if what you are doing is not too important to be stopped for a minute, I would like to say something to you.” “Oh, certainly, certainly,” said Mr. Harrison, pleasantly, “what can I do for you. Any appointment ?” “No, sir,” said Baby McKee, “nothing in that way at all, sir. What I want to say to you is, that I am not at all satisfied with the way this administration is being carried on. It is too tame; nothing is being done. Why, already the newspapers speak of this as a do-nothing administration, and you, sir; you, sir, are spoken of as a wooden man Think what I have to bear—to have the grandson of my great- great-grandfather called a wooden man!" Mr. Harrison shifted uneasily in his chair, and then said, with a feeble attempt at asmile. ‘So you think it wooden do for me to be called a wooden man?” > Baby McKee frowned down this ill-time pleasantry, and continuing, said: ‘I am sorry to have to speak to you in this way, sir, but I must protect myself. I have a future before me, LISTEN TO HIS TALE OF WOE. “| HAVE OFTEN,” SAID THE LEADING MAN AS HE SAT SIPPING HIS GLASS OF BRANDY AND WATER, “YES, I HAVE VERY OFTEN BEEN IN, POSITIONS WHERE MY NERVES HAVE BEEN SORELY TORTURED, BUT NEVER SHALL | FORGET THE OCCASION WHEN MY ENTIRE THEATRICAL WARDROBE WAS SEIZED FOR DEBT AND I WAS OBLIGED TO PERFORM HAMLET IN CIVICIAN'S COSTUME. I COULD HAVE BORROWED A SUIT FOR THE OCCASION, BUT I WAS AFRAID OF THE ONLY SUIT I POSSESSED IN THE WORLD BEING ALSO SEIZED IF I LEFT IT FOR A MOMENT UNOC- cuPIED.” comicbooks.com