Life — May 15, 1890 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE 1 SARS AT NLL THE PASSING OF THE OYSTER. OW passyth forth ye Oystyr And his silent Parde, ye Clamme And comyth Milde As Greene Pease and Young Spring Lambe, But hym yt lyves on Pork and Beans, Hym recketh notte a Damme. —Washington Critic. Easterns Dame: You certainly must admit, my dear, that the women of the West are not as handsome as those of the East. WESTERN DAMSEL: In what respect ? Well, you have no such complexions out here as 289 It was ina sleeping-car, and they thought that every one else was asleep. Probably every one had been, but they woke me. Yhen I was enough awake to notice what was going on, I heard her : Well, 1 don’t care. 1 think you're real mean. All I want——" “Yes,” broke in | you want now is the last word, same as you always have, ain't it?” “Yes; and I'll have it, too!” spitefully. “You won't See if 1 don't. “All right.” “* All right it is." * Have to mock every word I say, don't you ?" “Heavens, no! You never say anything worth repeating.” “Why do you echo me, then ?” “1 don't!” * You do!" “T don't!" “Shut up i" T won't!" ** Ugh!" And there was a noise like a man tumbling into his berth. Western Damset. use exactly the same things.—America. Time-KeereR: Look here, Donovan, I ca made seventeen hours on Thursday. Dovovan: Shure Oi shtarted two hours wurrked all dinner toime whin Oi was restin’, a wurrked foe two hours more, an’ that makes me toime out. — Funny Folks, Oh, 1 am sure you must be mistaken. We Then we heard, rather softly, as if talking to hersel have the last word, and I did. “1 said Vd * Ugh’ don't count, ‘cause I don't be- lieve it is a word.""—Harper's Basuar. n't understand how you “+ $1n," said an apprentice to his master, “ when a very clever and a very stupid person are together in one room, and the clever one goes before Oi began, an’ Oi ind afther Oi left off Oi away, who is there left ?”” “Why, of course, the stupid one.” *s Then good-bye, st.” said the apprentice, and went—Sonntagsdlate ~HODGMANS MACKINTOSHES FoR Ladies & Genttémen Are-unequalled-for softness of fabric & wearing valities. a Being farSupenor fe loony » similar jinpodled goods prices and Sarl ples furnished ication Hoan RUBBER COMPANY. JANUFACTURERS, Broadway, corGrand Street, NEWYORK. a1 W. 23d St. next door to sth Ave. Hotel. Crosse & Blackwell's FRESH FRUIT JAMS Made from English Fresh Fruits | AND REFINED SUCAR | ARE SOLD BY ALL GROCERS IN THE UNITED STATES. OUR CENTENNIAL EXHIBIT. e@ ¥ GEO. MATHER’S SONS RINTING INK 60 JOHN STREET, N. Y. | THIS PAPER IS PRINTED WITH OUR SPECIAL - LIFE + INK. CELEBRATED HATS, | ane | Ladies’ Round Hats and Bonnets and The Dunlap Silk Umbrella. | 178 & 180 Fifth Avenue, bet. 33d and a3d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St. NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. 9t4 Chestnut St., Phila. $B-Agencies in all Principal Cities, Gold Medal Awarded, Paris Exposition, 1889. MOST COMPLEXION Powders have a vulgar glare, but Porzoni’s is a true beautifier, whose effects are lasting. DECORATION FURNirurRE 3 Curtains. ROUX (33 FIFTH AVE. (NEW YORK, LITTLE PAINS. Pains that don’t bother much, and pains that trouble a great deal may all be cured by Grosvenor’s Bell-cap- sic Plaster. A curative agent of rare virtue, originated and made by the pioneer manufacturers of medi- cinal plasters. The result of all this experience and knowledge is GROSVENOR’S BELL-CAP-SIC PLASTER. Sold by the best druggists, or mailed on receipt of as cents by Grosvenor & Richards, Boston, Mass, ““UncLe JonN,” said little Emily, “do you know that a baby’ that was fed on clephaat's milk gained twenty pounds in a week ?” “Nonsense ! Impossible !"" exclaimed Uncle John, and then asked : * Whose baby was it ?" “Tt was the elephant’s baby,” replied little Emily.—/dustrated Fun. Sue: What does Matthew Amold mean by “sweetness and light 2” He (abruptly): "How much do you weigh ? Site (surprised): Just 102 pounds; but what in the world has that got to do with it ? He: Why, that’s it, Somerville Journal. Four-in-hand Coaches ue F. French & (2.8 Cabriotets daulets Derbys Road Wagons Pour-in-hand rts Mail Phectons French Wagons Dog Carte Stanhope Pau Ca: Landaut Oak Ru doudl P Spider Pheetons Vie-a-Vie (Limite), Boston, Mass. AMERICAN REPRESENTATIVES OF MILLION, GUIET & CO., PARIS, Breaks Game Carts Russian Surreys Wagonettes French Vic Fam ark Tra Mail Coaches Pheetons de Dame Meadowbrook Carts Char-a-Bancs CORRRSFONDENCE INVITED, comicbooks.com