Life — January 9, 1890 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- DIFE: FISERS Mt NLL A SEASONABLE WAIL. NOW, the misanthropic plumber, looking gloomier and glummer, wonders if the plaguey summer now will pack its duds and go. Hear him muttering and growling, see him petulantly scowling, list his wild, despairing howling: ‘Oh, for ten degrees below!” —Chicago Tribune. LanpLorp (fo departing guest) : I trust I may rely upon your rec- commending my establishment ? Guest: I don't happen to have at this moment a mortal enemy in the world !— Humoristiche Blatter. Youno Mr. Gotnam (af @ Murray Hill entertainment): Do you know, Miss Smith, if the lady who is surrounded by the group of gentlemen is married ? Miss SsttTH: Oh, I think not, I notice that she is carrying on one or two desperate flirtations. No married lady would do that, you know, Youn Mr. Gotham: H-m! Ofcourse not. And when do you expect to return to your home in Southern Illinois, Miss Smith ?— Boston Beacon. 27 WE have been asked to define the word chump. At this season of the year the only certain thing about the chump is that he is the man who would sit under the mistletoe with a pretty girl and never offer to do his duty like a man and brother.— New York Commercial Ad- vertiser. Sunpay SCHOOL TEACHER: Now tell me what the Epistles are? First SCHOLAR: I dunno, SecoND SCHOLA! does. Teacher: Well, Johnny, what are the Epistles ? SECOND SCHOLAR: The Epistles are the wives of the Apostles. — America, Manacino Epvrtor: Mr, Faber, I thought you were sent out to see about that alarm of fire; but I don’t see any repost of the fire in the paper. REPORTER : But there wasn’t any fire. ManaGino Epitor: Well, sir, and what difference does that make? An enterprising newspaper man would have written a column or two, giving a full and complete account of what would have hap- pened if there had been a fire. It is evident you were not cut out for a journalistic career. We shall be obliged to get along without your services after to-day.— Ex. Lawyer: Your uncle makes you his sole heir; but the will stip- ulates that the sum of one thousand dollars must be buried with him. Heir (/eelingly): The old man was eccentric; but his wishes must be respected, of course, I'll write a cheque for that amount. — Boston Beacon, A Renewable Term Policy 1 THE PROVIDENT SAVINGS LIFE ASSURANCE SOCIETY OF NEW YORK, HOME OFFICE, Equitable Building, No. 120 Broadway, Is the safest, least expensive and fairest contract of life insurance in the market. One-half the rates usually charged. SHEPPARD HOMANS, President and Actuary. WM. E. STEVENS, Secretary. Send for Prospectus or call in person. Crosse & Blackwell's FRESH FRUIT JAMS Made from English Fresh Fruits ————— ==AND REFINED SUCAR: :_. ARE SOLD BY ALL GROCERS IN THE UNITED STATES, OUR CENTENNIAL EXHIBIT. TO GEO. MATHER'S SONS RINTING INK 60 JOHN STREET, N. Y, THIS PAPER IS PRINTED WITH OUR SPECIAL - LIFE - INK. JJextap X Co CORVRIGITED. CELEBRATED HATS, —anD— Ladies’ Round Hats and Bonnets And The Dunlap‘ Silk Umbrolla, 178 & 180 Fifth Avenue, bet. s2d & 234 Sts. and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St. NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut St., Phila. €47-Agencies in all Principal Cities. Gold Medal Awarded, Paris Exposition, 1889. Papa (after the stance in the woodshed): Do you know that it pains me more than it does you to have to whip you ? THE TERROR: No, papa, I didn't know it; but now that you've told me I feel bette: Philadelphia Inquirer. Drcoration ROUX Furniture a Curtains CQ. 133 FIFTH AVE. Ww YORK FISS a A ALL STYLES, MODERATE PRICES, TO RENT, INSTALMENTS, AND EXCHANGED. 5th Ave.,cor.16th St., N.Y. THE SOCIETY NOVELTY. For Parlor, Church, or Club. Henry Rhodes Mobr's Refined and Artistic Entertainment. Can refer to the best clubs and society people of New York. Address Ashland House, or J. H. Phipps, Pond's Music Store, 25 Union Square. PARIS EXPOSITION, 1889. THE HIGHEST AWARD (THE COLD MEDAL) For Fars and For Garments WAS RECEIVED BY A. JAECKEL, Furrier, tt East 19th St., rear Broadway. ° st BON-BON comicbooks.com