Life, 1890-01-09 · page 12 of 18
Life — January 9, 1890 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Life Magazine Page 26: Satire on New Year's Resolutions and Social Hypocrisy This page satirizes American society through several cartoons: **January/New Year's Resolutions**: The Aquarius section mocks the annual tradition of cold-water diets and sobriety pledges, noting that increased drinking in early January proves such resolutions fail immediately. **"When the Novelty Wears Off"**: Two men celebrate their newborns by getting drunk—one says he's helping a friend ("Grimsey") drown sorrows over his *eighth* boy, creating dark comedy about excessive drinking and unwanted pregnancies. **"Meagre Holiday Fare"**: A charity visitor patronizes a poor widow, offering a decorative motto for her wall instead of actual food—satirizing ineffectual charitable gestures that prioritize appearance over material aid. **"Bad Enough, Though"**: Rural Mrs. Grimly discusses salvation doctrine with a doctor, relieved that "only half" humanity faces damnation—dark humor about provincial religious anxieties. The page collectively targets hypocrisy, ineffectual charity, and human weakness across class lines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
* LIFE: QUARIUS, or the Waterman, was probably chosen by the Zodiakers to represent Janu- ary because even in their time young men were wont on the first of the year to have high 7 hopes of putting themselves per- — manently on a cold-water diet. Had the Zodiakers known human nature : tl \ a little better and considered the in- f { creased consumption of intoxicants after 7 , the first few days of January have con- | verted good resolutions into fire-proof paving material, they would doubtless have chosen a distillery or a brewery for the sign of the month. XPERIENCE is a great teacher, but the little tin utensil we use to rub nutmegs on is a grater. THE SEVEN WONDERS OF NEW YORK. 1. The pavements. 2. The obstructions on the sidewalks. 3. The brutal policemen. 4. The old masters at the Metropolitan Museum. s. Elliot F. Shepard (Col.). 6. The Mud. 7. That in spite of all this it is such a decent city to live in. WHEN THE NOVELTY WEARS OFF. ‘Hi, WILKINS! CoME IN AND DRAIN THE FLOWING BOWL TO THE HEALTH OF MY FIRST-BORN—A BOUNCING BOY.” “WELL, THAT'S QUITE A COINCIDENCE, I'VE JUST HELPED GRIMSEY DROWN HIS WOE IN THE FLOWING BOWL—HIS EIGHTH, ANOTHER BOY.” MEAGRE HOLIDAY FARE. Charitable Visitor: 1 BELONG TO THE MOTTO Mission, AND I HEAR YOU ARE A HARD-WORKING, PATIENT, DESERVING WIDOW AND THAT YOUR CHILDREN SOMETIMES GO WITHOUT MEALS. I HAVE BROUGHT YOU ONE OF OUR PRETTIEST DEVICES TO HANG ON YOUR WALL TO COMFORT YOU IN YOUR GLOOMY MOMENTS, BAD ENOUGH, THOUGH. RS. GRIMLY (of Connecticut): Say, doctor, I hear that there's a new-fangled minister down ter Huckleberry Centre preachin’ the doctrine that everybody's goin’ ter be saved. Es it so? Dr. DryLy: Well, not exactly, madam. I gather from his sermons that he figures that about one-half of the human race will be eventually saved and that the remainder will be eternally damned. Mrs. GRIMLY (wth a relieved sigh): Oh, well, ‘tain’t guste so bad as I heered ‘twas. ON THE RANCH. California Tourist (his first interview with a burro): \'VE HEARD TELL OF 'm, BUT I WOULDN'T A B'LIEVED THAT A JACK RABBIT HAD SECH HARD PAWS BEHIND, comicbooks.com