Life — December 5, 1889 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“LIFE: TO HER UMBRELLA. YOU protect her—wish I could — From snow, or rain, or any harms; 1 offer, but it does no good ; She won't seek shelter in my arms. — Wm. Clyde Fitch, in Washington Lounger, Diver: You have waited upon me very acceptably and I have en- joyed my meal thoroughly. You have behaved like a gentleman, and a gentleman you certainly are, notwithstanding your humble occu- pation. Waiter : I hope, sir, that I am a gentleman. one, Diner: It is as I suspected. And, being a gentleman, I shall not insult you by offering you money. Perhaps at some time I may be able to reciprocate your courtesy. Till then, farewell.—Aoston Transcript. ** ACCORDING to my father's rules, Mr. Chapkins, we always ad- journ here at twelve. It is now one minute of,’ “Ah, indeed! Well, in accordance with legislative custom, Miss Barrows, there being some unfinished business before the house, I will turn back the clock,"* Engagement announced next day.— E’mira Echoes. always try to be First Younc Lapy: Did you hear about Maude? Wasn't it too bad? Seconp Youno Lapy: No! What? Where? Do tell me, just dying to know, First YousG Lapy: Why, you know she was going to be mar- ried next month, and had her trousseau half done, when her dress- maker, the only one in town who can give her a good fit, had to go and die, Wasn't it provoking ?. Maude nearly cried her eyes out. Seconp Ditto: The horrible old thing! Poor Maude! How I feel for her! — Utica Critic, Impatient GUEST: Hi, waiter, where’s my chop ? It's on the grid’ sir. Will you have it now or wait till Humoristische Blatter. YECLAY : Sheriff, convene the co't.. Where is the jury ? Back in the jail’ yard, your honah. We happened to get three Frenches and a couple of Eversoleson it, an’ they ‘re fightin’ it out, if it please the co't. JUbGE: Where is the prisoner in this horse-stealing case ? Suenirr : The Barnard boys got him out last evenin’ while I was at supper and hanged him. JUOGE : Strike off the case, Mr. Clerk. Lick road case ready to proceed ? SHERIFF : It was settled early this morning; they ‘re gittin’ the defendant ready for burial now. Jupce : Well, then, if the district attorney is ready, we will pro- ceed with the State vs. Hiram Garrard, SHERIFF : If it please the cot, the district attorney is not ready. Garrard’s counsel carved him with a bowie-knife right after breakfast. JUDGE (teearily): Adjourn the co't.— Brooklyn Eagle. I'm Are the parties to the Salt Have you used Packer’s Tar Soap for the Complexion, or Shampooing ? | PARIS BXPOSITION, 1889, THE HIGHEST AWARD (THE COLD MEDAL) For Furs and For Garments Its use is a luxury; imparting clear, soft, smooth, healthful skin and vigorous hair; cures Dandruff and Skin Diseases ; prevents Chapping. CELEBRATED HATS, ano. Ladies’ Round Hats and Bonnets And The Dunlap Silk Umbrella. 178 & 180 Fifth Avenue, bet. aad & a3d Sts. and 18: Broadway, near Cortlandt St. NEW YORK. 9r4 Chestnut St., Phila, 25 cents. Sunol PERFUMES EDENIA Goya Lily. All Druggists. 3 WAS RECEIVED BY A. JAECKEL, Furrier, tt East 19th St., near Broadway. Palmer House, Chicago. $87 Agencies in all Principal Cities, Gold Medal Awarded, Paris Exposition, 1889. Letters oie te tnd mate cable transfers of money to Europe. OF Bey ake “ate collections and" issue Commercial and Credit. ticstievea Brown Brothers & Co., Bankers, 59 Wall St. GEO. MATHER’S SONS 60 JOHN STREET, N. ¥, THIS PAPER IS PRINTED WITH OUR SPECIAL - LIFE - INK. HAVE YOU EVER TRIED “Whiting’s Standard Paper?” It is used by all who desire to be in good form in their correspondence. Sold by all dealers. Made in rough and smooth finish. Ask your stationer “ for it. | New York Offices, 150 and 152 Duane St, comicbooks.com