Life — November 21, 1889 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

* LIFE: A FRONT-DOOR EPISODE. E: Good evening ! MILKMAN: Good morning! UMPLETON, JR., was asked by a lady what his Christian name was. “I—aw—haven't got any,” re- turned the hidalgo; “I belong to a good family, and all my names are \ surnames ! A LESSON. ISS MARY: What's your idea of heaven, Aunt Boze ? AunT Boze: Why, honey, I uster tell folks all "bout dat, no end a times; but, bress your heart, I doan’ do so no mohr. Miss Mary: Why not? Oh, do tell us, Aunt Boze. AuNT Boze: Well, chile, hit’s jes dis away. ‘Long ‘bout ‘76 I hearn dem all a talkin’ "bout dat centenyel, an’ I jes allow'd I gwine ter see hit, sartin shua. De folk, when I tole ‘em, ast me what a sort a show hit gwine ter be. So 1 uster jes sit down an’ ‘scribe dat centenyel ter ‘em so dey could see hit jes de same as ef dey was dere. Well, when de time kim, I toted on down to Philadelfy, and I went to dat dere centenyel. When | got inside de doah an’ giv’ one look ‘round I jes sat right down in de neares’ char all in a heap, and I sez to myself, sez 1: “ Yo’ ole fool, wharfo yo’ try ter ‘scribe heben if yo’ cahnt come no nearer dan dat ter dis yer centenyel ?” TOO PARTICULAR BY HALF. Peacemaker: 1 WOULDN'T FIGHT, MY GOOD MEN. First Combatant: HE CALLED ME A LIAR, SUR. IN’ HE CALLED ME A LAZY LOAFER. I WOULDN'T FIGHT OVER A DIFFERENCE OF OPINION; YOU BOTH MAY BE RIGHT, “IT SEEMS TER ME DAT FOLKS GETS MIGHTY ‘TICULAR ABOUT LOCKIN’ UP DEIR OLE NENCOOPS WHEN T'ANKSGIVIN' COMES ERLONG. Mow DO DEY "SPECK HONES' POOR FOKES'S GOIN’ TO GET A DINNER, I ¥ WER?” comicbooks.com