Life — September 12, 1889 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

152 ROUTED. HEY sit by the ocean, he and she. She is a stylish, handsome, interesting Bar Harbor girl, with all a Bar Harbor girl's energy. He is a rather good-looking young man, faultlessly dressed and with all the languid indifference of a New York aristocrat. In the popular phraseology of the day, she is playing him for all she is worth.— I know the kind of a girl you like,” she says, casting a pair of rapturous brown eyes shyly on the ground and speaking in the timid tones of an English débutante. “You like the modest, retiring, sweet little wayside buttercup kind—the ‘I cannot permit you to kiss me, please do not do it again’—kind, don't you.” “No” he replied, ‘I don’t believe I do.” “Then,” she continues, straightening up, throw- ing out a bosom that tells of many a long graceful overhand stroke in the tennis court and letting her voice gurgle out in the rich tones of a contralto, , “You like the bold, fearless, energetic, sarcastic, Western girl?” “No,” he replies again with a languid drawl, “I don't believe I do.” “Perhaps you like the domestic girl, with her common sense and her strength of character,” she ventures quite simply. “No, I don’t like that kind either.” “T would hardly have said that you li and witty society queen,” she remarks, silvery laugh. “T don't.” “Well, what kind of a girl do you lik “To be perfectly frank, I wouldn't go acro: them. a year.” With a reproachful glance and a sigh over wasted time, she abruptly excuses herself because of a convenient headache, and that gray-headed ed the languid but brilliant but then chacun a son gout” the street for any of You see I was married just after I graduated—been married * LIFE: “IS YOUR NEW EMPLOYER A CHRISTIAN, FRED?” ‘*No, I'm AFRAID NOT, YOU SEE HE HAS TO USE THE TELE- PHONE A GREAT DEAL.” “Mrs, O'TOOLE, WOULD YEZ MOIND TAKIN’ CARE OF PHELIM FOR A WHOILE? THERE'S A SCRIMMAGE DOWN AT THE CLANCyY’s, AN’ IT'S GREAT FUN THEY'RE HAVIN’ KILLIN’ A POLICEMAN!” |. up against the cook for three rounds. old chestnut about her chaperone’s careful injunctions, and de- parts, while he with the mechanical action of a man who has ~ been there before goes quietly down to the bar and smiles literally and metaphorically all by himself. Tom Halt. " "THIS is the happy, happy time of the year when the merry schoolboy returns from the country full of recollections of green fields and green apples, long swims in the cool water and subsequent blisters upon the shoulders; when the triumphant maiden comes proudly home, counting a dozen male scalps at the belt, only to find in the near future that the scalps are all she possesses of the aforesaid males after all; when the fond father, tottering on the verge of financial ruin, comes back to his own familiar flat and thanks heaven that he can once more live within speaking distance of his income; and when the mother, the thoughtful and indulgent mother, rejoi¢es in the seclusion’ of her own home, where she can resume her daily exercise of standing But none of these people come back with such a serene and unruffled sense of satiated con- tentment as the far-sighted young man who has been having a delicious time with those perfectly safe engaged girls, whose future husbands have been slaving away in the city trying to raise enough money to get married on. N exchange informs a correspondent that “ Upharsin” is a Hebrew word, meaning “‘are divided.” ‘ Upharsin” should find a place in the Chicago dialect at once. comicbooks.com