Life — May 23, 1889 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

> LIFE: PAT $EISORS AT Lu [T'S spring to-day; the birds all sing, And there is scarce a thought of sorrow ; But go a little slow, for all you know, ‘A cold wave is coming to-morrow. — Texas Siftings. We apologize for mistakes made in all former issues, and say they were inexcusable, as all an editor has to dois to hunt news, and clean the rollers, and set type, and sweep the floor, and pen short items, and fold papers, and write wrappers, and make the paste, and mail the papers, and talk to visitors, and distribute type, and carry water, and saw wood, and read the proofs, and correct the mistakes, and hunt the shears to write editorials, and dodge the bills, and dun the delinquents, and take cussings from the whole force, and tell our subscribers that we need money. We say that we've no business to make mistakes while attending to these little matters, and getting our living on gopher-tail soup flavored with imagination, and wearing old shoes and no collar, and a patch on our pants, obliged to turn a smiling countenance to the man who tells us our paper isn't worth $1 anyhow, and that he could make a better one with his eyes shut. Sauk Rapids Sentinel. 307 IN a country church the curate had to give out two notices, the first of which was about baptisms, and the latter had to do with anew hymn-book. Owing to an accident he inverted the order, and gave out as follows: “I am requested to give notice that the new hymn-book will be used for the first time in this church on Sunday next, and I am also requested to call attention to the delay which often takes place in bringing children to be baptized; they should be brought on the earliest day possible. This is particularly pressed on mothers who have young babies.” “And for the information of those who have none,” added the rector, in gentle, kindly tones, and who, being deaf, had not heard what had been previously said, ‘for the information of those who have none I may state that, if wished, they can be obtained on ap- plication in the vestry immediately after service to-day. Limp ones, one shilling each; with stiff backs, two shillings,"—London Figaro, Younc Lapy: Only think, when I was a child of twelve I broke through the ice while skating ! Younc GENTLEMAN: But, surely, gnadiges Fraulein, you got out again? Yor Lany: Yes; fortunately there were some workmen stand- ing near, and they pulled me out again. YouNG GENTLEMAN (greatly relieved): You have lifted an im- mense load off my mind !—Fitegende Blatter. Mrs, GoLIGHTLY (fo eminent musical critic): What do you think of the new opera, Mr. Crotchet ? EMixext Musicat Critic: Well, it wouldn't be bad, if somebody PARIS EXPOSITION! HE CHEQUE BANK issues Cheques, either singly or put up in Books, for the special use of VISITO: RS tothe PARIS EXPOSITION, who can cash the same at upwards of seventy Banking Houses, situated in different parts of Paris, without charge. Packer's Tar Soap used as a Sham- oo will work wonders in curing andruff and Itching, and preventing Baldness. 25 cents. Druggists. PERFUMES EDENIA Goya Lily. CELEBRATED HATS AND LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 78 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., NEW YORK, Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestaut St., Phila, CASWELL, MASSEY & CO. 578 Fifth Ave., and 1121 Broadway, N.Y. and Newport, R. 1., call attention to their two new perfume powders, “Double Violet,” AND “White Heliotrope.” A single trial will prove conclusively their lasting and delicate fragrance. The most refined taste cannot object to the use of these sachets in writing Pr id among handkerchiefs, laces and under- GRANG::SQ Visitors’ mail matter can be addressed to them, care of the Société Générale, 4 Place de V'Opera, opposite the Grand Hotel, where English is spoken. Every Cheque that is issued by the Cheque Bank is EQUAL TO CASH, as Bank Notes are, for the Bank's Capital, Guaran- tee Fund and Customers’ Balances are invested in British Government Securities, or held in Cash in the Bank of England, and can be cashed in every town in Europe without charge. For Handbook containing list of 2,500 Banking Houses who cash the cheques free of charge, and list of 250 of the principal hotels in Europe who accept them, apply to agents of CHEQUE BANK, Limited, CAPITAL, £100,000, GUARANTEE FUND, £27,000. TRUSTEES: The Right Honorable John Bright, M.P. The Right Honorable Earl Beauchamp. E. J. MATHEWS & CO., Bankers, “PIANOS iG! C.C.BRIGGS &C? 7 APPLETON ST. BOSTON MASS. MANUFACTURERS OF ARE. -6--UPRIGHT GRACEFUL DESIGNS ++ SOLID ONSTRUCTION + MAT(HLESS TONE » * BEAUTIFUL FINISH. comicbooks.com