Life — April 11, 1889 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

> LIFE: v/ PR) AT NVLL AT SSSR AT NvLLy AN INVITATION. 1% fares the land to hastening ills a prey— Where commerce falters and the trades decay ; Canadians, don’t refuse in your vexation To beg rich Uncle Sam for annexation. Why sit ye starving at his opening gates ? Within for you a good square meal awaits. The mountain will not to Mohammed come. «Walk in,” says Uncle Sam, “ you'll starve tu hum.” —Chicago Times. A story is told of a Mr. Norton, which records one of the youth- ful Disraeli’s caustic strokes. Disraeli was dining at Norton’s house, The-host praised a particular wine on the table, to which Disraeli agreed, “Well,” said Norton, ‘I have wine twenty times as good in my cellar.” “No doubt,” said Dizzy, looking round the table; ‘but, my dear fellow, this is quite good enough for such canai//e as you have got to-day.” Everybody saw the point of this but Mr. Norton.—San Francisco Argonaut. ‘© Wuo is that little monster ?”” “That’s my daughter, madame.” “Ah! ah! the sweet creature.”—Zvotle Belge. 219 Mrs, REILLY : (1) Certainly. If you have not chairs enough to accommodate the guests at the wake, borrow some from the neigh- bors, (2) It is usual to provide pipes for the guests on such occasions. (3) ¥es, allow those who are unable to return home to sleep in the shed with the goat.— America, b ‘“ AH, excuse me, Mr. Harrison. I will wait until you are not so sy.” “Well, then, goodbye, Mr. Place-seeker ; that will be in 1892,"— Albany Journal. STRANGER: Zum Donnerwetter, now you have cut my chin a second time. If you can’t shave better than that you will lose all your customers pretty quick.” BaRBER’S APPRENTICE: Not at all! I am not allowed to shave the regular customers yet, I only shave strangers !"—London Tit-Bits. WIFE OF TELEGRAPH CLERK (after a lengthy curtain lecture): Now, you base wretch, I wonder what you have got to say for your- self! Huspanp: If you had wired that speech to Potsdam it would have cost you exactly 213 marks and 4o pfennings.—Fremdenblatt. NepHew: Hold up, Uncle! People ’ll think you're screwed ! UNCLE (the wedding breakfast had been hilarious): Screw'd| No, no, Sheorgsh! No’ sh’ bad’sh that! 'Shame time—don’ le’sh be— (lurching heavily)—osht’ntas'hly shober | Can't bear osht’ntash’n !! —Punch, ‘THE CAREFUL FARMER: What, man, are you going to let your son serve his year in the infantry and not in the cavalry? “I have only one son, my Isaac. Do you think I can trust his life to an un- reasoning animal ?"—F/tegende Blatter. ~~ PARIS EXPOSITION! HE CHEQUE BANK issues Cheques, either singly or put up in Books, for the special use of VISITORS. to the PARIS EXPOSITION, who can cash the same at upwards of seventy Hair Packer's Tar Soap used as a Sham- oo will work wonders in curing andruff and Itching, and preventing Baldness. 25 cents. Druggists. Suudtorg: PERFUMES EDENIA and COPYRIGKTED. CELEBRATED HATS AND LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut St., Phila. JOHN PATTERSON & CO., Tailors and Importers, Patterson Building, Nos. 25 and 27 W. 26th St., NEW YORK, Banking Houses, situated in different parts of Paris, without charge. Visitors’ mail matter can be addressed to them, care of the Société Générale, 4 Place de l'Opera, opposite the Grand Hotel, where English is spoken. Every Cheque that is issued by the Cheque Bank is EQUAL TO CASH, as Bank Notes are, for the Bank’s Capital, Guaran- tee Fund and Customers’ Balances are invested in British Government Securities, or held in Cash in the Bank of England, and can be cashed in every town in Europe without charge. For Handbook containing list of 2,500 Banking Houses who cash the cheques /ree of charge, and list of 250 of the principal hotels in Europe who accept them, apply to agents of CHEQUE BANK, Limited, CAPITAL, £100,000, GUARANTEE FUND, £27,000. ‘TRUSTEES : The Right Hororable John Bright, M.P. The Right Honorable Earl Beauchamp. No. 2 Wall Street, New York. er 3 C.C.BRIGGS &.C2 7 APPLETON ST. BOSTON MASS. MANUFACTURERS OF , SQUARE. -6--UPRIGHT ++ SOLID (]NSTRUCTION | + BEAUTIFUL FINISH. comicbooks.com