Life — April 11, 1889 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

* LIFE: z THE ELEVATION OF THE STAGE. 2§ MBITIOUS AMATEUR (who has just been put through her A paces, anxiously): How do you think I shall do? “DT? ENTERPRISING MANAGER (who makes a specially of bringing out young actresses): You walk well; your voice is good; your looks are—pardon me—enchanting. There is no \, reason why you should not succeed. Now, the first thing is \,\ to attract a little judicious attention. Are you single? | AMBITIOUS AMATEUR: No, sir. ENTERPRISING MANAGER: Ah! good, good! You married an Italian count who, after pawning all your jewelry to satisfy his taste for his native Chianti, has de- serted you in circumstances of great cruelty to return to ’?,' his banana-stand in the Bowery. We will get at least a > column and a half— AMBITIOUS AMATEUR (¢nterrupting him with some haughtiness): On the contrary, sir; my husband is Mr. Reginald Blueblood. He-is devoted to me, and we have the cutest little darling— ENTERPRISING MANAGER: Splendid! Couldn't be better. Go home and have him knock you down the back-stairs, and decamp with the baby. You appear in court the next morning ; the story gets into the newspapers. The next week I bring you out in “The Deserted Wife” to a bigger house than Patti ever saw. Madame, I congratulate you. Your fortune QUALIFIED. is made—and his. “Do YoU THINK YOUR SON HAS THE NECESSARY QUALIFICATIONS TO BECOME AN ARTIST?” “I'M SURE OF IT, HE CAN DO WITHOUT FOOD FOR THREE DAYS, AND HE KNOWS THE POSITION OF EVERY FREE LUNCH IN THE CITY.” A DESERTED CITY. IS LORDSHIP: Yes, this is a really won- derful country; but you have no ruins or deserted cities as we have on the other side. Mr. WIDEAWAKE: Well, I don’t know about the ruins, but if you want to see a gen- uine deserted city, why, you just take a trip to Indianapolis. AN ERROR. ISS WABASH: How delightfully your sister plays! Miss WALDO: Why, my dear, that’s the se ELLO, Brown! I hear you have a new typewriter; is she good-look- ing?” “Good-looking! Why man, no; my wife selected her.” “Why, how did she come to select her?” “Well, you see, my wife was a typewriter herself before I married her.” TO BE EXPECTED. ——————_ “Lor! Mrs, GREEN, WHAT ON ARTH'S THE MATTER WITH YOUR HUSBAND?” HE All-American team ought to have vis- “Wan, You 96, HE'S BEEN TAYIN' TO DO TH PiaiteGlovED FOzzLE, ited Greece. They used to have a Nine AND IT SORTER AFFECTED HIM.” there, we believe. comicbooks.com