Life — December 27, 1888 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE i $ESGORS AT WLLs DOWN WITH HIM! WEATHER-MAN! Diurnal pest! What hideous malice swells your breast That you should cram a thousand climes Into one county? Sure the times Are out of joint, and I'll be blest If | know whether it were best To wear an ulster or no vest, Since you've begun your thermal crimes, O weather-man | —America, MANAGER: Where's the livin’ skeleton, Joe? It's his turn to go on. THe Gexerat Utitity Boy: He went an’ slipped while he was a-washin’ of his hands, an’ went down th’ waste-pipe.— Zime. He was lying in front of the store-door when the merchant came out, and stirring him up with the toe of his boot, said : ‘Are you drunk ?” “You bet!” “Then you move off from here.” “Are you drunk 2” queried the inebriate. “No, Lam sober," was the indignant response. “Then you can move off from here a (Aic) sight easier than 1 can."— Texas Siftings. 369 AND now the time has come when the friends of the old Roman will talk about ‘the deep damnation of his taking snuff."—America, You say the speculation has proved a failure? A total failure. I thought you said there was a fortune in it. Jones (with a groan): So there is—mine is in it.—Boston Courier. Epitor (fo long-haired stranger): This is no barber-shop, my friend, STRANGER: I know it, sir; but I have a poem here which, from one point of view, is likely to be a trifle rapid. The public will go wild over it. I want to know if you can't give me enough on it to get a hair-cut ?—Zpech. Youno Mas: Do you make any reduction for goods purchased in quantities ? Jew! (smiling) > Certainly. Yor MAN: Then give me a dozen of your cheapest engage- ment rings. 1 am going to live in Salt Lake City, and feel that it is necessary to economize.—/ewelers' Weekly. Grocer: What do you want, boy? Hans: One pound of coffee, 1.20 marks; one pound of sugar, 50 pfennigs; one pound of butter, 1.30 marks; two pounds of rice at 20 pfennigs, and two pounds of Ssuppengerste at 20 pfennigs per pound. If I now give you 5 marks, how much do I still owe. GROCER : 1.20 marks, H Please write me the figures. Grocer: Well, now, where are you going? Haxs: I am going home to copy the exercise ; I must give it at school this morning.—Fliegende Blatter. ___ The Best’ Yitmtttliim STEEL PENS IN THE ESSENTIAL QUALITIES OF DURABILITY, EVENNESS OF POINTS AND WORKMANSHIP. SOLD BY Stationers and Notion Dealers Everywhere CHOCOLATES. Novelties in Fancy Baskets and Bonbon- nieres, suitable for Presents. 863 Broadway, bet. 17th and 18th Sts. 150 Broadway, cor. Liberty 8t., N. ¥. BONBONS AND Z GEO. MATHER’S SONS RINTING INK | _ 60 JOHN STREET, N. Y. THIS PAPER IS PRINTED WITH OUR SPECIAL * LIFE - INK. CELEBRATED HATS ann LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. JOHN PATTERSON & CO., Tailors and Importers, Patterson Building, Nos. 25 and 27 W. 26th St., NEW YORK. STERN BROTHERS Are exhibiting large assort- ments of Gentlemen’s Furnishing Goods, leading makes of Underwear, Neckwear, Handkerchiefs, Pajamas, Suspenders, Collars, Cuffs, also Silk Umbrellas and Canes, with choice and exclusive Mountings, Smoking Jackets and House Robes from the most celebrated London makers, all of which will be offered at 94 Chestout St., Phila. “ APPLE TONES DEST ON WAS: MANUFACTURERS OF = GRAND: -SQUARE--8--UPRIGHT Exceptionally Low Prices, 32 to 36 West 23d st. AND 28 to 35 West 22d st. ANOS PIANO FORTES Ne The popularity of the “ Kop. GRACEFULDESIGNS «+ SOLID QNSTRUCTION MAT(HLESS TONE + + BEAUTIFUL FINISH, s those purchasing Houtpay Girts is not at all surpris- ing when the many advantages it offers are considered. Nothing more suitable can be purchased, and it can be operated by anybody. An entirely new system of pho- tography. comicbooks.com