Life, 1888-12-13 · page 3 of 14
Life — December 13, 1888 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Page Analysis: Life Magazine, Page 329 This page contains three satirical pieces: 1. **"To ___"** (top): A poem about contrasting life experiences—ocean voyages, mountain retreats, and office work. The accompanying illustration shows an urban street scene with a vendor and pedestrians. 2. **"An Equivocal Admission"** (middle): A brief comic dialogue between a magistrate and prisoner. The magistrate reminds the prisoner of a prior warning about "going to the bad," and the prisoner confirms this is why he's imprisoned. It's a simple joke about predictable outcomes of criminal behavior. 3. **"A Deep Affliction"** (bottom): A scene at the Whippersapper Club where Mr. Caddson mourns the Duchess of Smothawband's death. The humor appears to involve his emotional display despite apparently minimal prior acquaintance with the deceased. The page emphasizes class dynamics and social pretense typical of Life's satirical style.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
- LIFE: TO SHORT week ago, and the ocean, Reflecting the sky's changeful hue, The diminutive world of a steamer, Bounded our lives as our view. A short month ago, and the mountains, The lake lying deep in their breast, With sunlight and shadow reflected, Formeda haven of love, peace and rest. But the infinite grandeur of ocean, The gloty of mountain and lake, Seemed to me from one little being Their grandeur and glory to take. And now the blue sky and the sunshine Illumine brick, mortar and stone ; Law-books and law-papers surround me As I sit in my office alone. While my thoughts drift away from the cases, And I wonder if ever again I shall see her by mountain or ocean, And say—what I dared not say then. WM. G. AN EQUIVOCAL ADMISSION. AGISTRATE: I told you once before that you were going to the bad. PRISONER: Yes. That's why I'm here! HE inebriate has his ups and downs—hiccups and fall-downs. DRESSED BEEF. Nee eS SARC, A BITTER INSULT. Monkey: Sav, RICARDO, HAVE YOU A STILETTO HANDY ? Ruardo: Wa! FOR YOU A WANTA STILETTO? Monkey: WHY, THAT RED-HAIRED KID 18 CRYING ‘ HERE COMES ANOTHER MONKEY!" AND THAT IS AN INSULT TO MY FAM- ILY THAT CAN ONLY RE WIPED OUT IN BLOOD. A DEBP AFFLICTION. (Scene: The Whippersnapper Club, Enter Mr. Cadd- son, in deep mourning, with a band to the crown of his hat, and a black border to his shirt collar.) MNES: Hello, Cad! Who's dead ? Cappson: It's the Duchess of Smothawband, bay Jawve! Omnes: Bay Jawve! Cappson: Yaas, bay Jawve! ( Ten minutes of melancholy silence ensue, broken only by Mr. Caddson's convulsive sobs into a black handkerchief.) FLoseson : But, bay Jawve, Cad, I didn’t know you knew the Duchess, y’ know. < Cappson: Well, deah boy, I didn’t exactly knaw haw, but I came ovaw in the next steamaw to the Dook once, in the next blessed statewoom to the one he had, bay Jawve! and had the same stewawd to wait on me. (Dissolves in tears, while the club eyes him with admtra- tion, not unmixed with envy.) AN Extinct CrRaTeR—The Plesiosaurus. GREEN Tea—Credulitee. comicbooks.com