Life, 1888-11-08 · page 7 of 14
Life — November 8, 1888 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Life Magazine Page 259 This page contains several humorous sketches and dialogues typical of early 20th-century satirical magazines: **"The New Curé"** is a poem about a fashionable young priest—a "dapper little cur" in fashionable dress—who gossips with society women rather than performing serious religious duties. The satire mocks clergy who prioritize high society over their pastoral responsibilities. The other sketches are brief comedic dialogues: "Between Two Vassar Girls" jokes about personal grooming, "Cakes for One" depicts a waiter's misunderstanding about food orders, "On Tick" puns on clock repair, and "A Sudden Death" presents a coroner's inquest with dark humor about a man dying from alcoholism. These are light, disconnected social comedies rather than political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE NEW CURE. "Ma dapper little curé, In high choker and white tie; In my surplice I am sure a Modest maid would call me shy; Were I not a son of Zion I could flirt, but never try. In my cozy study sitting Every morning I can see Rosy faces shyly fitting Past the window, spying me— What a gossip and a chatter When the women sip their tea! All the dear girls flock around me After vespers, and they say, Scheming mamas must have wound me Round their fingers—'tis their way ; While the papas patronize me, And their pew-rents promptly pay. I'm the pet of all the parish, I can cut out all the beaux; If I am a trifle airish, ‘Tis my humor, and it shows A true culture and high breeding, As most everybody knows. Harold Van Santvoord, BETWEEN TWO VASSAR GIRLS. USIE: Why, how smooth your face is! ESTHER: How smooth yours is! (Consternation, blushes; short but painful pause.) SUSIE (éanocent- \ 4): Yours issomuch smoother than my brother Jamie's! ESTHER (sémelr- ter): And yours is so much smoother than my father's! CAKES FOR ONE. R. WRAW HAMM (the eminent tragedian): Waiter, ye may bring me a plate of buckwheat cakes. WAITER: Yessir, yessir ! Mr. HAMM: And let them be brown on top. Walter: All right, sir! Mr. HAMM: And, sirrah, you— WaIteR: And sirrup? Yessir—all right, sir! HE SHOULD HAVE FAITH. O, Mr. Sampson, it can never be; I can only be a sister to you.” He would have fallen, but he realized that one suspender button was gone, and the other loose. He panted and said brokenly : “Only a sister, Miss Clara?" “Yes,” replied the girl, “only a sister. I must have time, but it shall be a sister of hope. Call again on Wednesday night.” 6“ ON TICK. ae S° you found the clock ticked so loud that you couldn't sleep?" said the jeweler to customer who returned aclock. “ You ought not growl when you have your folding- bed ticking under you all night.” The man took the clock home again. A SUDDEN DEATH. Kentucky CORONER: Yes, the papers found upon the deceased prove that he was Colonel Blood. WITNESS: There was also a quart bottle found in one of his pockets. CORONER: Was the bottle empty ? WITNESS: No, sir, it was full—hadn’t been touched. CORONER: Poor fellow, he must have died without a moment's warning. comicbooks.com