Life — September 27, 1888 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CISGORS AT NVLLyS ’ AT Se1SSORS AT NvLLv TO THE BRIDGE JUMPERS. THE day will come, and quickly too, To Brodie, and all such, When, like the drunkards, they will find They've had a drop too much, — Evening Sun. MR, ISAacstEIN (40 school teacher) : getting on mit arithmetic ? Scoot Teacher: He is doing nicely, Mr. Isaacstein; he is in percentage now. Mr. Isaacstein : Vas dot so? Vell, don’d you teach dot poy noddings less than von hundert per cent. He vas too young yet to study very hard.— Sun. How vas dat leedle Jacob IraTE WIFE: This is a nice time of night for you tobe getting home ! AGGRAVATING Hustann: Yesh, ver' nice. Beautiful moon (sic) light : no peramb'lators on street ; everything (A/c) nice 'n quiet. — Toronto Grip. IRATE FATHER (f0 young Binks): See here, young man! didn't I tell you never to enter my'gate again ? Youxro Binks: Yes, sir; and I didn’t, 1 clum over the fence.— 181 SLISH AMERICAN (J dime museum, a few years hence): D'ye know, f cahat see any curiosity about that man. It's what you call a fake, I fahney. GERMAN AMERICAN : Dot show vas no good. FRENCH AMERICAN : Zat ees not von bearded lady ; eet ees not von living skeleton : eet ees not von vild man of Borneo. Vot he is ? Dime Museum MANAGER : Fake, isit ? Sure thot mon’s the foinest curiosity in siven counties; an’ a har-r-rud toime we had foingin’ him, He's an American-American, begobbs.— Puck. Youno Mr, Muscle left at a very late hour, and the old man stood at the head of the stairs chuckling in fiendish glee. Then there was an awful disturbance ia the front yard, and the aforesaid old man laughed, ha, h: Then came the cry of Help!" “+ What's wanted 2” shouted the aged sinner. A clarion voice rang out : * Lwant somebody to help me bury a dog !"— Texas Siftings. Ferocious STRANGER (fo Texan bartender): There's only one of me and this is my day to howl, BARTENDER (calmly but firmly): Well, I'm the father of triplets, and every day in the week is their day to howl. So you jest howl away; I'm used to it The wolf retreated.—7exas Si/tings. I'm the wolf! Pa: What would you like to be when you grow up, Johnny ? Jouxsy: L think I'll be a soldier. » * You might get killed." “who by?” “ By the enemy, of course.” Judge, + Well, then, I guess I had better be the enemy."— Zimes, Smooth, Soft Packer's Tar Soap removes impairments of the skin, and establishes in their stead that bealth- ful, brilliant. natural cuticle which must be the basis of all Beautiful Complexion dborg’s Perfumes are for sale by almost all Druggists and Dealers in Toilet Articles, but if, for ‘any reason, they cansot be so obtained, send for a rice List to LADD & COFFIN, PROPRIETORS AND MANUFACTURERS, 24 Barclay Street, cor. Church St., N. ¥. Jexeap & Co COPYRIGHTED. CELEBRATED HATS AND LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., NEW YORK, Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut St., Phila. JOHN PATTERSON & CO., Tailors and Importers, Patterson Building, Nos. 25 and 27 W. 26th St., NEW YORK. ANNOUNCEMENT. JROAKAVER, LADIES’ TAILOR, 19 East 21st St., N. Y. ad door East from Broadway. With a view of advancing the very liberal patronage accorded to my Specialty, I would inform patrons and the discriminating classes, that on return from my annual visit to the most noted European Centres of Fashion and Marts of Choicest Goods, I am now prepared fo show designs and models in Wraps, Gowns, Jackets and styles which cannot be oué- matched by any one in my line. Some belles captivate with artless heart ; others with heartless art.—Chicago Merchant Traveler, ROSS’S ROYAL ¥. 121 Broad St., Boston. “PIANOS B = C.GBRIGGS &. 5 APPLETON 5ST. BOSTON MASS, MANUFACTURERS OF BELFAST GINGER ALE RASPBERRY VINEGAR GRAND: SQUARE. -6--UPRIGHT BEN GRACEFULDESIGNS «+ SOLID ONSTRUCTION MATCHLESS TONE ++ BrauTIFUL FINISH. comicbooks.com