Life — July 5, 1888 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CUPID'S GEOGRAPHY. HEN we are far apart, my love. The world is very wide ; But it assumes a different shape When we are side by side. For then ‘tis so diminutive To our ecstatic view, We half imagine it was made Just large enough for two ! W.H. Hayne. WATER PURE ENOUGH. LD MR. BENTLY: It beats all what an amount of corruption there is in the construction of the new aqueduct. OLD Mrs. BENTLY: D’ you think so, Joshua? noticed nothin’ wrong with the water. M RS. JENKS (at dinner): Would you like some of this oyster-plant, Mr. Prim? Prim: No, thank you; I'ma strict vegetarian. T hain’t TRUE TO HIS PRINCIPLES. EW ENGLAND sent nearly 900,000 gallons of rum to Africa last year, to say nothing of missionaries and prayer-books. “THERE is a great waste of ‘rah material in a Presiden- tial campaign. SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO. “WILL YoU BE GLAD, SAMMY, WHEN YOUR LITTLE BROTHER: GETS OLD ENOUGH TO TALK?" “Won't I, THOUGH; IF ME USES CUSS WoRDS I'LL SMASH HIS LITTLE HEAD FOR HIM.” ROMANCE AND REALITY, Mite, Blanche de Montmorency: SAY, MAGGIE; LEND ME FIFTY CENTS TO GET SOME SUPPER? Miss Gwendolen Stanley: 1 WaveN't Gor IT, Lizzie, SINCE FATHER GOT INTO TROU! E FOR BREAKING MOTHER'S ARM, I'VE HAD TO RUN THE HOU D YOU KNOW TEN DOLLARS A WEEK DON'T GO FAR AMONG WONDERFUL SUCCESS. ISS CLARA: What wonderful success Amélie Rives has met with, Miss ETHEL: Yes, but I think it’s too bad the papers didn’t publish a list of the wedding presents. AN HONEST CLIMATE, R,” he said, solemnly, to a young man who was anathematizing the weather, “do you know that the use of such language will send you to a hotter place than this?” “It may be hotter,” responded the young man, mopping his face, “but it's a dry, honest kind of heat. They don’t have any of this blanked humidity down there.” A BAD CASE. IRST BOY: Say, is your uncle bad ? SECOND DITTO: Bad? Awful bad! The doctor says he’s got shoebuckles on his lungs. comicbooks.com