Life — May 10, 1888 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WITH THE SIMIANS. Ave to the theatre is among the more recent of the delicate attentions paid by the debonair Mr. Timothy Crowley, of Central Park, to his charming fiancée, Miss Kitty O'Brien. With that regard to the appropriate which is one of Mr. Crowley's noblest traits, he chose the monkey performance at the Star Theatre for the amusement of his lovely bride-elect. EVER was a performance watched with greater interest. Mr. Crowley also administered a stinging re- buke to those who think them- selves farther advanced in the Darwinian scale of development —but who have, in fact, only reached the dude stage—by not once leaving Miss Kitty to go clove-chasing. “T think you will give me credit, my dear Kitty,” said Mr. Crowley, as he absent-mindedly removed an annoying insect from his fair companion’s left shoulder, “of really possessing better table man- ners than these monkeys over whose banquet scene people are making such a fuss. It is not to be wondered at, perhaps, as I am told that they received their edu- cation in Germany, and we all know that German table manners are notoriously bad. I shall never cease to be grateful that you were sent to America to receive your education.” “Of course they can’t compare with yours, dear Tim,” said Miss Kitty, “but they are wonderfully better than those of some monkeys we know.” “Yes, and of some humans, too,” added Mr. Crowley. Here he became very much absorbed in the stage perform- ance, and the conversation ended. He was much pleased with it and considered it, as a whole, better than anything of the kind he had ever seen in Africa. As a result he is very proud of his compatriots although he was suspicious that one of them was trying to develop a flirtation with Miss O'Brien. It is stated on good authority that Mr. Crowley and Miss O'Brien will call on the foreigners one day this week and thus fix the social position of the strangers in America. This sets at rest, once for all, the rumor that the artists were to be given the cold-shoulier by the social leaders of monkeydom and thereby forced into the organ-grinder set. Metcalfe. * * * HE phenomenal cast of “Hamlet” for Mr. Wallack’s benefit needs only Mr. J. Owen O'Connor to make it complete. His recent audiences found him ‘‘a fellow of infinite jest,” so he might appropriately be cast for Yorick's SPRING LAMB WITH MINT SAUCE. AN INDICATION OF GOOD TASTE. sl es can it be that you are going to marry Miss Equilateral ?” “Yes, Tom, and if you say anything to disparage her— “Disparage her! Why, she proposed to me, too, last leap year!” DMIRER OF BUDDING GENIUS: Don't you think there is a great deal of what Matthew Arnold calls “sweetness and light” about Miss de Blank? Sceptic: Yes, indeed. Miss de Blank is very sweet and her work is tremendously light. A NEW THEORY OF GRAVITATION. SMALL BOY was discovered playing ball one day, and on being asked what he was doing, replied: “I’m playin’ ball with Dod. I frow the ball up and Dod frows it back.” comicbooks.com