Life — March 22, 1888 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: EN HOP’S laundry at noon hour. Noon hour in a Chinese laundry does not necessarily come at noon, and in this case it hap- pened to be about 1 A.M. Yen “<” Hop’s able assistant, Mr. Lon Hi, ’\\ was resting after the arduous x\ labors of the day, his white-paja- ) maed form recumbent on the utensil which served alternately the purposes of couch and ironing- board. From his lips arose a blue thread of smoke, drawn at long intervals from a home-made cigarette. Yen Hop, also clad in white, sat on the edge of the board and related to Lon Hi the most marvelous ex- perience of his life, the latter receiving it with the imper- turbability of his race, and showing absolutely no signs of astonishment at what he thought was an able fairy tale, composed by Yen Hop for his—Hi's—amusement. Yen Hop had been presented with a ticket to Barnum’s circus by a grateful canvass-man, to whom he had been indulgent in the matter of a past-due wash bill. With much timidity he had gone forth to avail himself of the privilege conferred by the ticket, and now, after safe return to the quiet precincts of Mott Street, and a season of doubly-energetic labor to atone for the time lost in dissipation, told his fellow-workman ali about it. Lire’s Chinese reporter happened to hear the tale, and here transcribes it in English, preserving as much as possible of the original flavor. “First place,” said Yen Hop, “came lot men and women on horses. Much as twenty dozen. All had gold clothes. Clothes cost lot of money. Much as five dollars. Band play. Men and women go round on horses. Then go out. Then come woman with snakes. More snakes than clothes. Tame snakes. Then come dogs and do things just like man. Shoot gun, dance, wear clothes, just like man. Such dogs no good to cook. Must have devil. Then come man and woman with pink skin. Clothes not cost much. Band play quick. Man go up rope to swing. Woman go up rope to swing other side of house. Band play quicker. Man hold himself in swing by his feet. Band play quicker. Woman hold herself in swing by feet. Woman goes back- ward and forward in swing. Band play quicker. All of sudden band stop! Woman let go with feet. Go through air just like bird. Band goes kli—ya—zuM! Man catch woman like he love her very much. Woman not get away. “Then come white horse and other man with pink skin. Man stand up on horse's back. Horse goes around fast. Another horse. Man stand on two horses’ backs. Another horse comes and goes in middle. Man still keep on horses’ backs. Another horse comes and goes in middle. Man made of rubber. Stretch not break. “Then come woman and stand up against board. Other woman come with sharp knives and try to hit first woman. Knives stick in board all round close to first woman, but not hit her. No good shot. “ Then come man and twist himself all over. Tie his legs in hard knot around his neck. Guess he want to remember something next week. Then come men and jump from board in air. When man with face painted white fall down and hurt himself, people laugh, but don’t send for doctor. Ought to be ashamed! Then come two men with— ” At this point, Yen Hop happened to glance at Lon Hi, and discovered that the junior in the firm had succumbed to sleep. This tribute to his story-telling powers did not flatter Yen Hop, and the result was that Mr. Lon Hi was rudely awakened, and a sensible addition made to his labors as an acolyte in the temple of cleanliness. Yen Hop reserved the further account of his experience at the circus for a more appreciative audience, and Mr. P. T. Barnum may yet learn of his being enshrined as a god in Chinese mythology. Metcalfe. THE RETORT COURTEOUS. A RURAL editor having inserted the paragraph “ Mrs. Blank is a very pretty woman, but she can't act,” re- ceived the following reply from the lady's manager. DEAR SIR: You have very beautiful red whiskers, but you can’t edit a newspaper. Yours, John Doe. THE LOAN OF A BITE. Little One: Hi! HOLD ON, WON'T YER? WHEN I saID YOU COULD HAVE A PIECE OF MY TAFFY, I DIDN’T THINK YOU'D WALK OFF WITH THREE OR FOUR YARDS. comicbooks.com