Life — March 8, 1888 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ta] 1888.) upon nd did atten: ) bron- of the saten- . Phy: toa mate, ancis: rrival eott’s er Oil Ss ae 1 day. oirdu- ‘o 180 Votume XI. Marcu 8TH, 1888. THE THOUGHTFUL Boy. Wy Young America (to his father, who has recently visited the tomb of Washington) : Why, 1s WASHINGTON DEAD? Father : OF COURSE HE IS—A LONG TIME AGO, Young America: THEN WHY DOES HE KEEP ON HAVING BIRTHDAYS? PHRENOLOGY. SPIRIT, new released from mortal breath, Soared upward through drear space of sky unknown ; Untraced by chart of continent or zone, The no-man’s land of mystery and death. Anon this soul arrived in realm of light, And straightway sought, with eager haste, the gate Where myriad hapless ghosts their doom await, Of bliss and day, or never-ending night. St. Peter paused (ere turned the portal key) And questioned thus the stranger: ‘‘ Tell me why Thou did’st the laws of righteousness defy ? Can’st hope to here escape thy destiny?” Aghast the spirit cried: ‘* Because—because My head was not in shape to know these laws ” 7. B. AT THE VATICAN. OY: Please, your Holiness, there’s a lady down-stairs as would like to see you. THE Pope: Who is she, my lad? Boy: Queen Victoria, your reverence. THE Pope: Tell her 1 am not at home. One cannot be too careful in leap year. A CHICAGO journal used to rhyme Goethe with teeth, until the Renaissance set in, since when it rhymes it with dirty. SEE by the papers that they call coupon scissors revenue cutters now. ‘ Yes? clipper-built, I suppose ? comicbooks.com