Life — February 23, 1888 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

GREELEY'S PENMANSHIP. THERE have been more jokings over Horace Greeley’s execrable handwriting than we could name, but the annexed one is certainly one of the best. Once upon a time Mr. M. B. Castle, of Sandwich, Illinois, invited’ Mr. Greeley to lecture. To this the following reply was sent : Dear StR,—I am overworked and growing old. I shall be sixty next February third. On the whole it seems I must decline to lecture henceforth, except in this immediate vicinity, if Ido at all. I cannot promise to visit Illinois on that errand—certainly not now. Yours, Horace GREELEY. M. B, CasTLe, Sandwich, Ill. We can partly imagine the great efforts made by the lecture com- mittee and others to decipher Horace’s pothooks, and the delight which they must have felt at their success in extracting their general meaning. That they did so will be seen in the following epistle for- warded in due time to Mr. Greeley : Sanpwicu, IIL, May 12. Horace GREELEY, New York 7rtbune : Dear Str, Your acceptance to lecture before our association next winter came to hand this morning. Your penmanship not being the plainest it took some time to translate it, but we succeeded, and would 118 say your time—“ third of February,” and terms, “sixty dollars"—are perfectly satisfactory. As you suggest, we may be able to get you other engagements in this immediate vicinity ; if so, we will advise you. Yours respectfully, M. B. CasTLe. —Commer ci A SCISSORS-GRINDER man was walking slowly down Main Street, ringing a merry ting-a-ling-ling chime on his bell, when a woman rushed to the front door and asked in a breathless voice: “Do you grind scissors?” The man looked at her a moment and then meekly answered : “No; I black boots. My father is dead and I carry this grindstone around to conceal my trade. Umbrellas to mend! Ting-a-ling-ling.” —Darby News-Independent. EXASPERATED WIFE: What do you mean by coming home at this time in the morning ? ConviviaL Hussanp : I am very sorry, my dear, but it's not my fault. The fellers had all gone; didn’t have anyone to talk to.—Ex, ARCHBISHOP WHATELY was one day asked if he rose early. He replied that once he did, but he was so proud all the morning, and so sleepy all the afternoon, that he determined never to do it again.”— —Singapore Review, Miss TopipuM (complatsantly): Ah, Mrs. Goldbags, no one could mistake who the mother of these handsome children is. You ought to be proud of them, for they inherit all their mother’s beauty and grace. Mrs. Gotppacs: So I’m told; but you know I never met my husband's first wife—/udge. EVERY ONE SHOULD TRY 12 Selected Samples for trial, post-paid, on receipt of wencents, Ask for Perry's Planished Pens. ISON, BLAKEMAN & CO.,752*357Sonr""**" | LADIES' Palmer House, Chicago. co CELEBRATED HATS AND ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St., NEW YORK. | | | COPYRIGHTED. | | | 9t4 Chestnut St., Phila, — AKAUER LADIES’ TAILOR. 19 East 21st Street, NEW YORK. Is now prepared to show his NEW IM- PORTATION of ABRICS AND MODELS FOR SPRING and SUMMER. People of refined taste de- siring specially fine Cigarettes should use our Satin, Four in SMW Hand, Athletic and Cupid. IVA Straight Cut, Hand Made, ” vA from the best Virginia and 7 RANG; Turkish leaf. at Peerless Tobacco Works. Established 1846, 14 Prize Medas W.S. Kimball & Co Rochester,N.Y. My stock Has been selected to suit the highest class requirements. LONDON. NEWPORT. GEvu. MATHER’S SONS RINTING INK 60 JOHN STREET, N. Y. THIS PAPER IS PRINTED WITH OUR SPECIAL - LIFE - INK BONBOXS AND / CHOCOLATES. Novelties in Fancy Baskets and Bon- bonnieres, suitable for presents. 863 Broadway, bet. 17th and 18th 8ts., 150 Broadway, cor. Liberty St., NEW YORK. se Cologue LXDBORG'’S PERFUMES make appro- +4 priate and acceptable gifts. They are put up in neat attractive packages of various styles, and are for sale by all dealers, LADD & COFFIN, PROPRIETORS AND MANUFACTURERS, 24 BARCLAY STREET, NEW YORK. PENCERIAN TEEL PENS Are The Best comicbooks.com