Life — December 8, 1887 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

. “Dip she have a rawhide when she assaulted you? asked his honor of a | meek gentleman who accused his wife of assault with intent to kill. ** No, your honor.” said the poor man, feeling of himself tenderly, “I'm the one that had the raw hide; in fact, your honor, I have it still."—Auffalo Courter. Tunes different waiters at a large hotel asked a professor at dinner, in quick succession, if he would have soup. jttle annoyed, he said sarcastically to the last: **Is it compulsory 2” jo, sir,” answered the man, ‘I think it is mock-turtle,"— 77st Bits (London). Tue Bard was asked to compose a little poem upon his childhood, and this is what he produced: ‘* How dear to my heart is the school I attended, and how I remember so distant and dim, that red-headed Bill and the pin that I bended, and carefully put on the bench under him. And how I recall the surprise of the master, when Bill gave a yell and sprang up from the pin, so high that his bullet head sinashed up the plaster above, and the scholars all set up a din. That active boy, Billy, that high-leaping Billy; that loud-shouting Billy, that sat ona pin.—Ex. A MAN the other day was complaining to his butcher that the piece of meat sent him was so tough that his mother could not even chew the gravy.—Cal/eulla Sun. SITTING IN THE AIR, A vouxo German officer, rather new to his work, was drilling a squad of raw recruits, and gave the word of command: “Lift the right leg!” One of the soldiers by mistake raised his left leg, so that it joined closely to the right leg of his neighbor. ** Donnerwetter!" exclaimed the officer, ‘* what jackanapes has lifted both his legs ?"—Fviegende Blatter. AT aclubdinner with a party not long ago, one of the guests remarked that Bavarian horses were celebrated for their general worthlessness. He said that a dealer sold one to a German officer during the Franco-Prussian war, and warranted him to be a good war-horse. The soldier came back afterwards in a PRECAUTION. towering passion and said he had been swindled. “And how 2" said the dealer. “Why, there's not a bit of ‘go’ in him, and yet you warranted him as a good war-horse.” cd “Yes, I did, and, by George! he is a good war-horse; he'd sooner die than run !"—Hong Kong Tribune. THAT'S THE THIKD OR FOURTH VISIT THAT CHAP HAS MADE; I THINK AS AN ONLY BROTHER I OUGHT TO TAKE HIM INTO THE SITTING-ROOM AND ASK HIM MIS INTENTIONS, SPENCERIAN STEEL: PENS IN IZ NUMBERS SUITED TO EVERY STYLE, OF WRITING tHey ARE THE BEST inte “ESSENTIAL QUALITIES OF DURABILITY === ==EVEDIESS or POINT a~npD WORKMADSHIP: SAMPLES OF. ALLTHE NUMBERS “FOR. TRIAL , BYMAIL, ON RECEIPT OF Malt and Hops * TEN CENTS % FOR SALE EVERYWHERE IVISON , BLAKEMAN. & CO, @©753 & 755 BROADWAY NEW YORK © RECOMMENDED BY EMINENT PHYSICIANS. comicbooks.com