Life — October 27, 1887 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘LIFE: SeIS§OR§ AT NvLLy RUNNING UP AGAINST A TENDERFOOT, «6 OTRANGER,"” he said—this story opens in the wild and woolly West—"jine us.” ‘The gentleman addressed politely but firmly shook his head. He was rather under than above the medium height, and slightly built. His dress was quiet, but faultless in cut; the expression of his face cold, calm, resolute and dangerous. “Stranger,” repeated the bully,‘ jine us. I'm a Bald-headed Eagle with gaffs on my ankles, and when I scream I scream for keeps. Jine us, stranger, or the Eagle will rock you to Sleep.” The stranger looked the big bully square in the eye. “Whiskey for me," he said, without flinching. —Sun. “ Witwess,” said a lawyer in the police court the other day, ** you speak of Mr. Smith being well of. Is he worth $5,000?" ' “+ sah.” “Two thousand?" "No, sah; he han't worf 25 cents. “Then how is he well off?" “Got a wife who s'ports de hull fam'ly, sah !"—Chicago Times. A GENTLEMAN entered a phrenologist's office in Boston and asked to have his head examined. After a moment's inspection the Pro- fessor started back, exclaiming : ‘Good heavens! you have the most unaccountable combination of attributes I ever discovered in a human being. Were your parents eccentric?” ‘No, sir,” replied the all- around character, meekly, “but my wife is. You'needn’t pay any attention to the larger bumps, sir."—Burlington Free Press. 237 Tue original Gai rn in song as “ Gaily, the, Troubadour,” who ‘strikes his guitar,” is with the Spanish Troubadours to appear at Faranta’s Theatre.—Vew Orleans Picayune, AND. THE GREENBACK PARTY, TOO. “ARE there any ruins around here, Mr. Dactylambler ?" asked the tourist. ‘*1 should say so," replied ‘the heartbroken poet. ‘Go down to the office of the Weekly Wrong/ont and see how they printed my poem on “ The Dying Summer."—Burdette, ; Some woman-hating editor expressed the opinion recently that women are never as successful as men in their callings, whereupon a Pueblo paper, with true Western gallantry, came to the rescue of the fair sex with a bold denial of the assertion, and instanced one lady in the neighborhood whose voice could be heard a mile.—Fort Worth (Texas) Gazette, AN ANXIETY, Auxty: Why, Laurie, you seem to be growing every day LAURIE (whose one idea ts his birthday next week): Yes, Aunty; I'm afraid 1 shall be six before my birthday !—Punch, ‘ NOT SO BAD AS ALL THAT, Youxo Mr. GoTHam: Breezy? Miss BREEZY (/rom the West): About a week, but I found the long ride from Chicago so fatiguing that I have scarcely been out at all. Have you been in town long, Miss Youxo Mr. Gorham : Iam sorry you have been indisposed, Miss Breezy ; I would be glad to take you to see Dr. Jekyll. Miss BREEZY (@ frifle coldly): “Thanks, Mr. Gotham, but my indisposition is scarcely severe enough to consult a physician.—Zpock Have you used Packer’s Tar Soap It’s immense!!. COPVRICETED, for Shampooing ?) ceteBRATED HATS | xp LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St., NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut St., Phila. | XIMBALL'S SAT. People of refined taste who and boxes of 108, 208, ind 1008. 14 Prise Medals, WM. 5, KIMBALL & CO. IRAKAVER LADIES’ TAILOR, Habit Maker and Hatter, NEW YORK, 19 East 2/st St., 2d door East of Broadway JAMES PILE & CO. 288-290 Kegent St. NEWPORT, 176 Bellevue Ave. eptionally fine cig- hould use only our Cut, put up in satin RUBY ROYAL “SEC.” Can be tried at Delmosico's, Hoffman House and other first class places. This Champagne, of a bright crimson or ruby color, was specially selected on ac- count of its exceptional merits for the entertainment iven to THE FIRST LADY OF THE LAND, at Ktarion, Mass., on August 4 (when it was served for the | first me in America), ‘and for the banquet of 200 covers offered to the New York merchants by their associates in Philadelphia, Saturday, the 8th instant, H. P. FINLAY, 117 Pearl Street, New York. Sole Agent for U. S. and Canada. POST PAID, TWENTY-FIVE CTS. CROSBY’S VITALIZED PHOSPHITES. Strengthens the intellect, restores lost functions, builds up worn-out serves, promotes good digestion, cures all weaknesses and nervousness. 36 West ecru Sraset, New Yorn. STEEL PENS | Ivison, Blakeman & Co. lAre the Best.) new yore. NEW YORK. For Sata sy Devocisrs, o Matt, $1.00. comicbooks.com