Life — October 6, 1887 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: MR. WILTON'S ADVENTURE, CHAPTER It, UT to return to our young friend in the counting-house. Mr. Carroll Wilton, with his advanced ideas, naturally disapproved of hard work; he considered it undignified, degrading and most unbe- coming toa gentleman ; and so, when the crack of the office door blew upon his back to such an extent that he came down with pneu- monia, he was not as sorry as he might have been, al- though he most strenuously objected to being called upon to give an air of respectabil- ity to Paradise by his pres- ence there. He survived his illness, however, as he had, in a measure, inherited his father's constitution, which, he explained, was such an iron affair that the old gen- tleman would surely see his two hundredth birthday, and moreover stood a very good chance of never dying at all. 1 am grieved to state that these reflections were sug- gested by the fact that his father persisted in allowing rim but $3,000 a year for his personal expenses, and the smallness of this sum filled his soul with bitterness and scorn, for it was barely enough fer bim to dress himself on; and to be obliged to forego those absolute necessities of life, such as horses, carriages and yachts, was an outrage that but very few men could bear. As Mr. Wilton’s illness had proved most conclusively that all forms of what is known as “business” were exceedingly unhealthy, and as an unappreciative public failed to come forward and offer him a position which entailed no other labor than that of drawing a large salary, Mr. Wilton was forced by circumstances and a relentless fate to become a sort of lily of the field, limited. ‘The duties of this position consisted in studying out new designs with his tailor, cultivating a British accent and vocabulary, posing at the club windows, and paying great atten- tion to the latest fad_or freak of fashion, such as wearing the bottoms of his trousers turned up in dry weather, carrying his watch in his breeches pocket, and other such brain-racking devices. Then when summer came, he was, of course, obliged to go to Newport. In his inmost soul Mr. Wilton considered Newport a hot, muggy, crowded, unhealthy little place, but as it was the proper thing to go there, he went, and kept his own counsel. Mr. Wilton’s life at Newport differed but little from his life in town, He went about in his friends’ traps and yachts, appeared at the various society events in the evening, and loafed considerably at the stuffy little club, where the very bad brand of whisky which they offered made him exceedingly unhappy. Geologists tell us that this North American continent of ours is an unfinished affair, or, in the words of the old saw, ‘was made late Sat- urday night," and was never meant to be inhabited by white folk. I know of no stronger proof that can be brought forward to sustain this 187 theory than to point to that desolate spot called Narragansett Pier on the ducus @ non /ucendo principal, as there is no pier anywhere in the vicinity. Nature seems to have done her very worst for this spot, and man has exerted himself to the utmost to make matters still more hideous, and altogether the place is so peculiarly unattractive that I am unable to explain why Mr. Wilton and a party of choice youths should have sailed over on a certain bright morning in August and landed there. Iam also unable to explain why the wind, then and there, died completely out, and did not make its appearance again till the following noon ; and I am inclined to think that it was Mr. Wilton’s oft-quoted ‘relentless fate” that engineered the matter, for it was entirely owing to this prolonged calm that Mr. Wilton fell in with Miss Higgins— Miss Julia Higgins, of St. Louis. 1 am painfully aware that this name has an unaristocratic ring to it, and that there are certain people who may smile at it, but you would have paid little attention to the name, and certainly reserved your smiles if you could have but looked upon Miss Higgins, Now, I am old, dispassionate, and_pro- foundly experienced in these matters, and therefore when I state that Miss Higgins was the most beautiful, as well as the most charming creature of modern times, I trust that no one will accuse me of exag- geration or prejudice, 1 will not attempt to describe her, or bore you by dwelling upon her wonderful light-brown hair with its streaks of gold, her peach-like complexion, her superb figure, or her ineffable grace ; but I must say a few words concerning her eyes, for such eyes were certainly never scen before. They were very large, almost too large, and ofa wonderful liquid blue ; so soft, so tender, so melting, and anon so deep and earnest! Truly they were the beautiful windows of a most beautiful soul, and the amount of expression that they were capable of showing goes far beyond the power of words to describe, and so per- haps I had better not attempt it any further. (To be continued.) YOUTHFUL HOPES. “ MAN. will Heaven be just like church all the time?” “T hope so, dear, “Well, I sha‘n’t to the other place. said her mother. y my prayers any more; I'd rather gc HE HAD BEEN THERE. Robber: YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE! Victim: WELL, LOOK HERE, YOU MAY SHOOT IF YOU LIKE, BUT I'M CLEANED OUT; I HAVE JUST BROUGHT MY FAMILY FROM THE SEASIDE AND— Robber: ALL. RIGHT, YOUNG MAN, I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. PASS RIGHT ON! comicbooks.com