Life — September 22, 1887 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE INFALLIBLE RECIPE. HE surest and simplest highway to fame Is to be an adept in the National Game. In pulpit, in politics, business, in all ‘The professions of life there's a chance that you'll fall. But if you can hit a three-bagger at will, And can catch without muffing the spherical pill ; Can steal with impunity base after base, And can stop without wincing hot balls with your face, You may make up your mind that fame, fortune is thine, As long as you play with a regular nine. . A SAND-POOL has been formed by speculators in Pitts- burg. It promises to make serious inroads upon the profits of grocers and sugar refiners. . . . HE poct laureate on Governor Hill's staff rhymes boom with doom. There is something very appropriate about this. . . . HE Prohibitionists have nominated a full ticket in Mas- sachusetts. The above item reads all right, but it has a ring about it that doesn’t seem to go well with prohibition. * RS, SPRIGGINS thinks the constitution of the Coach- ing Club should be founded on the lex tally-ho-nis, ° IDER HAGGARD is at it again. He is about to pub- lish a story called * The Tale of Three Lions.” Mr. Haggard can’t do right if he tries. In one book he exaggerates, and in another he depreciates. The idea of three lions with only one tail! Pshaw ! . . . . . qT SHARP-EYED traveler reports i that within a year the Mormon women have generally discarded their plain garb, and now appear as gaily dressed as their Gentile sisters. This is good news. If all the Mor- mon wives would insist on dressing in the height of fashion the archdeacon> of the church would find monogam\ much more attractive than its antonyn . . INCE Bison William took London by storm the prevailing color there is Buff. . . FINANCIAL. Avove Par. i fie melograph has been invented, by which a person can improvise on a piano and have the music recorded. What a useless invention. The recording angel is popu- larly supposed to look after such sins as this. . . . % GOULD has been swindled on the ties he bought in the West. Serves him right! The man who wants to lay in a stock of sleepers and passes Philadelphia by is not deserving of much sympathy. UAKERS are said to be much afflicted with color blindness. This affliction lets many an estimable brother out when he is detected in looking on the wine when it is red. . . . HEN Mr. John L. Sullivan dies, it is believed that he will provide for the endowment of a large memorial saloon at Cambridge. Harvard is bound to be the HE death watch over the Anarchists in Chicago is like the Waterbury in that it takes a long time to wind it up, but we hope it will emulate the Waterbury in another respect and “get there just the same.” university of the future. . . (PROF. LUCY SALMON has taken charge of the history department at Vassar. The lady should be well up . No that the Theosophists have their organ the Chiro- sophists are to follow suit. The latter will be a hand-organ, . 1G must be because Scotchmen chiefly marry among the English that we hear so much of the blue belles of Scotland. ° . in the fishery troubles. . . . . (an rnea’ror® ‘ N art note in the 7%mes says that Walt Whitman's bust has been taken by Sidney E. Morse, of Boston. We are not personally acquainted with Mr. Morse, but we think it rather uncalled for in him to take one of the few things that remain to the poor old poet. If a man cannot retain his bust, what can he hold inviolate? . . . UFFS will be very small this winter, but ear-tabs will remain as large as ever. comicbooks.com .