Life — September 15, 1887 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE GENESIS OF POLITICS. OLITICS began when Joseph was sold out by his brethren.—New Orleans Picayune. Politics originated long before that. Has our esteemed Southern contem- porary never heard how they were all paired in the Ark ?—New York World. Earlier even than that. Politics be- gan with the appearance of a third party in Eden.—/ York Sun. All wrong. Politics didn’t begin un- til Balaam’s time, when the ass spoke. Ohio politics seem to be directly trace- able to this event, GOVERNMENT REWARDS TO LITERARY MEN. IFE isa firm believer in the theory that the United States Govern- ment should do something to pension the workers in literary fields. This being so, we would call Mr. Cleveland's attention to the fact that in case Mr. Endicott resigns his portfolio, the best man in literary circles for the Secretary- ship of War is the Editor of the Cen- tury Magazine. We will add that this suggestion is entirely voluntary on our part, and has not been inspired by any emissary of our esteemed monthly con- temporary. A SLIGHT CHANGE. R. GEORGE'S theory of what man should own may be sum- med up thus: Three acres, a cow. ASTONISHING. In Ohio the slogan is somewhat «Toy nates sNop: changed. Itruns: Foraker’s a jackass. «So pors My HUSBAND. 143 SEPTEMBER SQUIBS. HAT we are all of us sovereigns in our own right seems to be proved by the frequency of plots for wrecking the railroad trains in which we travel, The Czar of Russia does not enjoy any greater privilege in this respect than the average American. . . * I‘ all the books in the Bible only one of them is a specimen of Job- printing. I" would seem to be perfectly in character that the big elephant which escaped from a circus in Ontario should have chosen to travel along the Grand Trunk Railroad track. He probably mistook the Grand Trunk for a member of his family. . . . HE latest novelty promised in the- atrical advertising is to be a petri fied district messenger boy who was turned into a stone during the ages that elapsed between his departure from the Grand Central Depot and his arrival at City Hall Square. . . . HE Spaniards are all miserable Sefiors, J INTERFERED WITH THE GAME. I DAT (after watching a game of tennis for ten minutes): Oi say, Misther de Sappy, av yez ‘ud take down thot fish-net in the centher yez ‘ud play Men are so queer.” the game betther, that ye wud. TO KATYDIDS. KATYDIDS, are you at work Upon a lengthy riddle? Is it a fairy bow you jerk Across a fairy fiddle ; Or did you sometime find yourselves Bewildered by a rebus— Which only can be solved by elves Who shun the face of Phoebus ? And if you all the fiddle play For fairies, I beseech you Come round and visit me some day And I will try to teach you. T'll play upon the violin, Solve riddles any number, Provided you'll stop breaking in Upon my search for slumber. O Katydids, both pro and con, If it's a riddle, let me know This interesting question Just how the gnomes express it : I think that I perhaps may show Some one of you to guess it: If it’s a rebus which you try To find as you revolve it, Just hand it in to me, and I Will do my best to solve it. Mle ldyller, Is making serious inroad on My nerves and my digestion ; And, Mr. Katy, my advice In cases such as this, is To hold your tongue; it isn’t nice To keep on sassing Mrs. comicbooks.com