Life — September 1, 1887 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: because he and I lean in different directions. If I choose to believe that Shakespeare's Arden is located in Central Africa, where we may presume there are palmettos and starving lionesses—such as the poet mentions as being in his forest, although they cannot be found either in French Flanders crin Warwickshire—I have grounds on which to base my opinion. The correspondent may pity, but he has no right to call me an ignoramus. If, again, it pleases me to think that Avon's bard had reference to Brooklyn's cemetery when he wrote “ Under the Greenwood Tree,” a legion of correspondents may think I am entering my second childhood and put me in the same boat with my esteemed contemporary, Ignatius Donnelly; but the Declaration of Independence gives me the right to my own opinions, which, after all, are merely opinions and nothing else. The question as to whether Shakespeare's Arden is in England or Flanders becomes, therefore, very much like a barn door. There are, and always will be, two sides to it, and youthful experience has taught me that it is less dan- gerous to take one side or the other of a barn door than to try to straddle it. My theory has this additional advantage : It makes Shakespeare's Arden English, you know. . K. Bangs. 6“ AN you recommend for mea good home course of Botany,” asks a correspondent. Yes, the flour barrel. SCRAPS. F you must do as the Romans do when you are in Rome, you should do as the Milliners do when you are in Milan. > . BvERY dog has his day in this — country, but in England every Knight has his dog. . . . Queen likes the sentiment in weets to the sweet,” especially when it is carried as far as “ Sovereigns to the Sovereign.” . . . M* PARNELL has discovered I that Delirium Tremens and Daily Times have the same initials, and he don’t know which he likes best. Wess ]* predicting the weather a day ahead, the Signal Service often renders the country a signal service. THE IMPOSSIBLE SHE. BIQUITOUS, amusing She, Whose story here is written In fascinating style for me By some eccentric Briton : At first I rather took to you, But now my brain is staggered ‘To find that on a closer view You look so old and haggard. What countless conquests you have made Among the minds that grovel In fabled lands where plots are laid For every railway novel : ‘The haggard rider makes his eyes A victim to the cinder, To find that Rider Haggard lies, And that you're only tinder. Mle Idyller, A CORRECT DIAGNOSIS. OUNG physician (to patient): Your dyspepsia comes, I think, sir, from too high living. You are a very high liver, are you not? PATIENT: Yes, sir; I live on the top floor of a New York flat. CANDAL doesn’t travel on through trains. It takes the way accommodation which stops at all stations, Mrs, F- (in @ whisper): Wat's THE MATTER? Mr, F (who sees the contribution box coming): SUMMER WE MUST STAY AWAY FROM CHURCH. This kind of humor goes with the Sun's cholera mixture. IF WE ARE TO ECONOMIZE THIS: comicbooks.com