Life — July 14, 1887 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: UNPRECEDENTED OFFER! ATTRACTION EXTRAORDINARY !! AUTHORS, ATTENTION AttHoucu there has been an unusually great demand this year for our Retail Ready-Made Novels (sold only in sections and copyrighted by the Company) adaptable to all summer publications, we have stil on hand a large assortment of mots, foreign idioms, anecdotes of great men, and other literary padding which cannot fail to be attractive to purchasers, and which we will furnish at the lowest rates to the profession, We have also a very fine and com- plete list of Endings, which we publish below. ‘All rights reserved.” [In ordering, please state whetber you prefer the selections to be tragic, comic or pathetic. Terms the same.) 1.—Laughing sweetly, she laid her blonde head on his shoulder, and blush- ingly murmured ** Yes.” F 2,—" Dead!” he cried, as he beheld the livid form resting on the marble floor; “Tam revenged at last 1” 3-—And, by the marriage of Sir Lionel Vane to fair Sybil Violet Stanhope, Bermington Hall soon regained its former gayety and splendor. 4-—Cautiously peering over the ivied balcony of the terrace, he saw her pass from his sight forever, 5.—And still she stands in the sunny kitchen, with its snowy curtains and fragrant odors of lilac and June roses, and bakes her ‘Cherry Pies.” 6.—Striking his ron hand upon his chest, he uttered a smothered curse and expired. 7.— Wal, I never!" said Deacon Pelter as he wiped his rugged brow, ‘to think he'd a married ‘er, after all.” DESPERATE, Cholley: Wevt, bon voyage! But, BY Gawoe, OLD FELLAH, WHO'S GOING TO CHAPERON YOU, YOU KNOW ? Gus; GOING ALL ALONE, 'PON HONOR! Cholley: BLESS MY SOUL! YOU—ER—ER—DON'T MEAN IT, OLD FELLAH, BUT, BY GawGE! YOU—ER—ER— ALWAYS WAS A DARE-DEVIL, DON'T-CHER-KNOW | 8,—Dimly seen against the gloomy background of the cave, a shadowy white form drifted slowly by, and its icy voice seemed to freeze his very heart's blood, as bending over him, it whispered, * Remember, Reginald ; remember!" 9.—In the little burial-ground, beyond the Squire's favorite hazel copse, is a marble headstone with the simple inscription : ‘* Leonora, aged eighteen.” 10.—Ah ! Little does the gay world ken of what Lady Geraldine thinks, as wrapped in costly sables, she Urives in her brilliant equipage along the Serpentine and listens to the birds in the elms. But we know—yes, we know I 11,—Raising himself painfully to the mast-head with the wounded arm the pirates had left free, he searched the distant horizon with hungry eye. “A sail !" he gasped ; ‘a sail! Saved! Saved!” 12.—A stillness as of death reigned in the crowded court-room ; a stillness, intense and awful, which was succeeded by the most deafening clamor of cheers when the venerable Judge, laying his hand upon Ida's golden curls, said in a voice broken with emotion, ‘* Not guilty.” ING SOLOMON was over one hundred years old when he married, and although he dressed nicely he was a very plain man. Most of his wives married him for money. HE Lord doesn’t temper the wind to the shorn lamb of Wall Street. ] F we can do anything for the Pope in the way of getting Reverend McGlynn to Rome, or even farther than that, he has only to say the word. BUSINESS AMENITIES. “ OU mustn't call me a salesperson,” said a pretty shop-girl, bridling, to a rather elderly co-worker. “Then you shouldn't have told Mr. Crash that it was very appro- priate putting me at the remnant counter,” was the indignant reply. FORGETFULNESS. HE morning breezes softly stir Her dainty gown of lavender, As on the balcony she stands, With pensive eyes and folded hands, And gazes down the sunny street Where tides of traffic surge and meet. I smoke and dream beneath the trees And watch her idling at my ease. A pleasant thought it is, that she Waits there with longing arms for me. How much is love, how much is life, With such a home, and such a wife! But who is this comes riding down The dusty highway of the town? For see, she rises up to meet Him with a smile of welcome sweet— Forbid the thought !—but can it be She waits for him, and not for me? There in the soft spring sun she stands With eager eyes and outstretched hands. Oh, faithless wife! when face to face Y needs must see that fond embrace ! Yet stay !—perhaps my rage is forced— I keep forgetting I'm divorced ! Ernest De Lancey Pierson, HE Marquis of Lorne ought to have a medal for falling off his horse in the parade. It will be remembered that Gen. Wolseley was rewarded for falling off a camel in Egypt. comicbooks.com