Life — June 23, 1887 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AT THE JUBILEE. ER most gracious Majesty Queen Vic- toria having intimated to the Prime | Minister that no Jubilee could be consid- | ered a success without the Chum to Poten- | tates, your correspondent took a special steamer to the seat of joy. The arrival of the Chum was celebrated by a salute of one cham- pagne bottle, of which the Prince of Wales, the Queen and the Chum partook with much relish, and the quality of which was subsequently shown in the bill which Her Majesty presented when the American representative took his leave, and which is subjoined. At five o'clock in the morning (New York time) the Imperial Band gathered beneath the Chum’s window and played “What is Home without a Mother 2?” so beautifully that the Prince of Wales, who was assisting the Chum in the adjustment of his insignia, burst into tears. ‘“What is home without a mother?” he said, shaking his head mournfully. ‘I'd give all I possess to answer that question. It is the ‘one deep, dark mystery of my life. “It is rough on you, Wales,” I said; who waits.” ‘*Waits ? Well, my dear Chum, I’ve watched the Coercion bill for fourteen long months; I’ve watched for a new joke in Punch since Thackeray died; and when I was in New York, I went to Wallack's Theatre and sat in my seat between the acts—but never, never have but all things come to him I waited so wearily for anything as I have for the solution of the | problem, ‘‘ What is home without a mother ?” “You've been thrown on a cold, unsympathetic world, haven't you, Albert ?” I ventured, taking the Order of the Bath from my | wallet and ringing for the room steward. ** Well, I wouldn't mind the cold, unsympathetic world if I could | get the throne,” rejoined his Prospective Highness, with a sad smile. “Ladies first, my boy. You wouldn’t have your aged mother give up her seat to you, would you?” The answer I could not catch, for at that moment the Grand Duke of the Annunciata threw open the door and announced Her Majesty's | approach. Immediately the Queen ushered herself in, and, with a coy smile, inquired how the Chum found himself this morning, and at once signified her intention to set the Jubilee a-rolling. The Imperial Chariot was ordered, and the Chum by special invitation seated him- self beside Her Majesty, and the procession started. Then your correspondent enjoyed the supreme bliss of driving through fourteen miles of London mob, who had the honor to be bull- dozed by the soldiery for the privilege of viewing Her Majesty ride by them, with her nose at an angle of forty-five degrees with the vest pockets of the taxpayers. There was more pompand vanity between the Palace and Westminster Abbey than the most devout churchman could renounce in a century. Hundreds of bands, brazen and German, rendered martial music at every street corner. Flags and banners of every hue and pattern, embroidered with every conceivable motto, hung from windows and poles, and flickered in the breeze. The London fog turned out in force, The Irish Members of Parliament exploded bombs as_Her Majesty went by, and the inevitable small boy, perched on the lamp-posts along the route, cried ‘*’Ail to the Chief!” most vociferously. Altogether it was a most stirring spectacle, and Her Majesty blushed with pleasure as she kept raising her crown in acknowledgment of the plaudits of the populace. At Westminster the Royal pew was magnificently hung with | Travelling Expenses to Windsor son draperies, so arranged that the Royal party could go to sleep during the sermon without attracting the attention of the congrega- tion. The Canons of the Church were discharged at intervals of five minutes during the service, and next to Her Majesty the Lord came in for considerable attention. He was vigorously thanked for having spared the gracious German lady to rule over the destinies of England for so many years, and with a royal disregard for the feelings of the Prince of Wales. He was asked to vouchsafe unto Her Majesty at least one other happy return of the day, to which prayer the dmen of the Prince was unhappily mislaid. After the sermon a special prayer for those at sea was offered in behalf of the Government, the Lord was again thanked for his special attentions to the English nation, and the meeting adjourned to Turtle on Toast and other delicacies. The festivities continued until a late hour, and the Queen knighted the committee in charge; conferred the Order of the Bath on the Italian Minister; made the cook who prepared the Jubilee dinner a gentleman, and retired. When the Chum took his leave he was handed an envelope con- taining the following memoranda : Buckincuam Patace, June 21. C. SMITH, Ese., To REGINA VICTORIA, Dr. Terms Cash. Use of Throne Room,oneday . . . . . . . £6 xBottleof Imperial Fizz.) DDD Corkage eon GG ar) First-class Carriage to Westminster | fo 6 x Jubilee Banquet. ce co 8 Seviee . . . Ff tt tl Gg Mighty 2 5 2 of ff Ss bg, 22 6 £8 Received Payment. Please Remit. After reading this, the Chum tore a cheque from his book and made the following mem. on the back : New York, June 21, 1887. QUEEN VICTORIA To CARLYLE SMITH, Dr. CG. O..D. foe es L600 Consolation to Prince . . . * Fs is E10 Wear and Tear on Digestion at Jubilee Bai que 010 © Cash to Battenberg for Expenses of Beatrice and Buby £8 00 Received Payment. Pinning this on the throne, where Her Majesty would be sure to see it, the Chum withdrew. Up to the hour of going to press no reply had been received. Carlyle Smith, SOME GHOSTLY FIGURES. OME attempt should be made to satisfy the hunger for knowledge shown by the poor, half-fed Vassar girls, who during the past year have consumed only 84,000 lbs. of meat, 95,000 quarts of milk, 32,000 clams, 100,000 buck- wheats, and a few similar trifles. With a judicious system of milk, meat and poultry scholarships and degrees, to excite emulation, these young women might in time learn how to | sustain life, and there would be some hope for the American physique of the future. comicbooks.com