Life — June 23, 1887 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN IDYL OF SPRING. HEN one who has “‘ nice” tastes to please, And likes to gratify them, Sees on the menu, ‘‘ Fresh green peas,” And says: ‘Ah, good! I'll try them,” It quite disturbs his peace of mind, When he’s devoured his order, At bottom of the dish to find A lump of canning solder ! * x * F the age of a nation may be computed as that of a tree | is measured—by its rings—what a venerabie institution our Republic must be! * * * HE numerous silver-tongued orators of the country now have a rival in a mule at Macon, Georgia, whose original windpipe has been replaced by a tube of silver. He | will probably be sent as a Blaine delegate to the next Republican convention. * * * Cartan NUTT, who was so prompt in pursuing the revolted Apaches of Arizona, probably has the elements of a kernel in him. OUR NATIONAL GAME. “Hi! Jimmy, come here, « or you'll miss the fun. conwulsions !”” * * * HEY had a “natural gas celebration” in Ohio the other | day. Gas in celebrations, however, is no novelty, and is perfectly natural. * * * HE hobby which is running away with Dr. McGlynn appears to be a velocipede. What he needs is some new invention, which might be called-a“lentipede,” to make him go slow. | court, is on the increase. They've | knocked a ball clean through a man, an’ he's a lyin’ on the ground in | | «s HAT’S this arrangement of J. Sharp, that I see in the papers?” inquired Miss Jerusha Slow of her nephew, Jack Speed. “It's the beginning of a symphony,” answered Jack, “ which will end in A Flat.” * * * HE Gate City Guard of Atlanta, which has been denied admission to England, evidently is not the “ Britons Guard Your Own,” to which Tennyson alludes in one of his later poems. * * * NDER the head of “Lost and Found,” a detective bureau advertises “antecedents, daily habits,” etc. It will be a very useful bureau if it succeeds in losing the antecedents of some people and teaches men who have been out late on business how to find their “daily habits” the next morning. * * * HE goose that laid a golden egg, with fatal results, has been rivalled by Edward Hen, who laid aside $2,000,000 before his demise. * * * HE loss of memory which afflicts great capitalists, and particularly railroad magnates, when examined in Numismatics, or the science of coin, is generally supposed to stimulate mnemonics, which is the science of memory; but in these cases the accumulation of coin works just the other way. It is very sad. Some people evidently think bleeding would be a good cure for the disease of memory which has fastened on the capitalists. * * * HERE'S many a slip ‘twixt the Cup and the Thistle. * * * HE custom of “ bussing” a bride has not been an unfamiliar one; but at a fashionable wedding, the other day, the bride herself was Bussing. * * * RESIDENT CLEVELAND has got through casting his fly upon the waters; but before many days it will return to him in multiplied form. * * * UDGE LAMB, of Texas, who recently murdered his J brother, appears to have been a black sheep. He certainly would not be fitted for the woolsack. * * * T? Fisheries Dispute was lately transferred from Canadian waters to Saranac Lake, with the hope of adjusting it in the Presidential trout-scales. The latest offishial intelligence, however, is that it has returned to Washington, véd Albany, much refreshed by its vacation, ! and is calling for more bait. comicbooks.com