Life — June 16, 1887 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUNE SONG. E two would a-roaming go, Heigh-ho! ho! ho! Not where Nature's sweet scents do so beguile, She can naught do but blush and smile the while. Ah, no! no! no! But where gay Cupid, with love-laden bow, Dimpling aims at all who a-roaming go. Heigh-ho! so! so! We two would a-roaming go. * * * MOBO, DITOR O'BRIEN asked for bread for Lansdowne’s | tenants, but received a stone—indeed, several stones. The Canadians of Toronto and Kingston are strikingly liberal. * * * | Busses people will be shocked to hear that Dante was not the author of V#ta Nuova, any more than Shakespeare was the author of Bacon. V7ta Nuova, it transpires, is a patent medicine, and if Dante wants to terference suit and go into court. BEATEN ON HIS OWN GROUND. Satan (horrified): GET THEE BEHIND ME, ANARCHIST! * * * -Y G—LD, the Vand—b-lts, Ast-rs, Mayor H-witt and Charles A. D-na have formed, and continue to form, an ‘Anti-Poverty Society which is very successful. | many does she have to lose to become a widower ? JR correspondent, who hints that honied words are made of hon? sozt, they spring from Huny-adi. * * * BLACKMAIL is usually accompanied by a female. * * * N easy payment Miss Jerusha Slow read aloud from the placard in a furniture store. ‘That's she remarked. ‘I allus did find payments oneasy.”” in error. Neither is it true that | * * * IDER HAGGARD is said to be the lineal successor of Death on the Pale Horse. * * * UNTY POVERTY is seeking a divorce from Uncle Pawnbroker. * * * HE Philadelphia firm which gives a cap to every Penn- sylvania woman who succeeds in celebrating her hundreth birthday, is either bound to encourage women in | setting their caps, or else is itself setting a cap for-free advertising. * * * N Illinois, an apple has been unearthed in good condition, which had been buried for fourteen years. This is not so remarkable as the fact that “ Adam's apple” still survives, a : ‘ t0 | after several thousand years. establish his authorship he will have to put on his best in- | * * * NE YORK'S Sunday relations with water nowadays are not as strained as they were. * * * SOME GREAT PROBLEMS SOLVED. T HE learned incumbent of Lire’s Bureau of Information having lost his mind before he could reply to various burning questions which recently appeared in these columns, it became necessary for others, though at infinite risk, to throw themselves into the breach; such vital subjects cannot | be overlooked. The following replies are all that have been received up to the hour of going to press. Here are the queries with their answers :— 1. ‘To what branch of the cattl: kingdom does the parad-ox belong?” This is too abs-herd for serious consideration. 2. ‘Ifa woman becomes a widow by losing one husband, how She is wi’dower from the first. 3. ‘‘ Should a runner wear rubber shoes because he’s eraser?” Not unless he is detected in a mis-sprint. 4. “Tf, as Lire recently remarked, Nature is indulging in athletics by having a backward Spring, will she continue them when Summersets in ?”” Not if there is danger of an early Fall. 5. ‘In view of the editorial we employed on the New York World, is it proper to say, ‘Mr. Pulitzer és a crank,’ or ‘Mr. Pulitzer ave a crank?” Either is correct, since he induces a wrote-ary motion. 6. ‘‘Do Bostonians take Buddha on their brown bread ?” Certainly, with Isis for dessert. comicbooks.com