Life — May 12, 1887 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE SIGNS OF THE TIME. HE baseball now is whizzing and a-swinging is the bat ; The maiden bloometh forth in a forty dollar hat ; ‘The Dude doth walk abroad with his legs done up in bagging ; And the dog doth ba-k in sunlight with his little tail a-wagging. Spring-lamb is on the market, and some grass is on the sod ; Green peas wax somewhat cheaper—'bout $1.10 per pod ; ‘The silence of the city is broken by the sweet, Melodious sound of ‘ Strr-r-roar-brys"” from hucksters on the street ; And from the mansions of the proud a rich, resounding thwack Tells tales of carpet-beating in the little yard a-back. Oh, yea! "Tis May! * * * Ie not the Zzmes rather severe on David Deadly Field when it says that the Civil Code Bill is not a lawyer’s bill? ~ We should feel deeply pained if Cyrus does not take up the cudgels in his brother's behalf. * * * ENRY GEORGE is the first man we ever met that doesn't want the Earth.. He only wants what is on it. * * * HE Madagascans are becoming rapidly civilized. There are 400,000 of them who profess the Christian religion. rhe number of those who profess to be Christians York twice this. in New isn't more than * ‘ * Pee S are investing all their money in Western Union. There is almost enough water in that cor- poration to suit them. N° Charles, the German Street Band may not be said to be a species of gutta-percha. CONTEMPORARY advertises: Wants in the S/av are free. We thought wants were free everywhere. It is gratification that costs money. * * * JOET: Your villanelle is quite villainous but unavailable. * * * M* HOWELLS is a fair poet, but he must grow some before he can wear Longfellow’s old clothes. WHY NOT? ENATOR PAYNE is known as “ The Sardine Senator,” he is so deep in oil. * * * HEN Munkacsy’s “ Death of Mozart,” Rosa Bonheur’s “Horse Fair,” and Meissonier's ‘‘ 1807” have passed through the restorative process at the Di Cesnola Museum, we shall expect to see a great composite masterpiece known as “No, 1807, Death of Mozart at the Horse Fair,” by Bonkacsonnier. * * * TY. peaceably disposed citizens suffering from influ- enza, recently met and actually came to blows over a discussion of the weather. * * * NOTES AND QUERIES. E always know when Spring has come to stay. Not only is our mail crowded with love poems aspiring to meet the public gaze, but there are thousands of vouchers attesting that the spirit of inquiry breaks forth at the same moment that the young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love. Among the queries of the week we find the following: 1, To what branch of the cattle kingdom does the Parad-ox belong ? 2. If a woman becomes a widow by losing one husband, how many does she have to lose to become a widower ? 3. Should a runner wear rubber shoes because he's eraser ? If, as Lire recently remarked, Nature is in- ing in athletics by having a backward Spring, will she continue them when Summer-sets in ? 5. Isthe signature to a cheque a signe gua non?” 6. Are sugary remarks made from verb. sap 2 7. When a lady and gentleman are walking should the lady walk inside the gentleman or vice versa? 8. In view of the editorial we employed on the New York World, is it proper to say “Mr. Pulitzer vs werank,” or * Mr. Pulitzer ave a crank 2” 9. Is Browning or Camera Obscura ? 10. Do Bostonians take Buddha on their Brown Bread ? There are no prizes offered, but the editors of LiFe will gladly receive and acknowledge answers to the above questions, inasmuch as the learned gentleman who has charge of our Bureau of Information lost his mind before he could reply to these seekers after truth, comicbooks.com