Life, 1887-04-21 · page 6 of 16
Life — April 21, 1887 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "Perfectly Lovely" — Life Magazine Satire This sketch satirizes upper-class social pretense and art world snobbery. The scene depicts wealthy women (including Mrs. Vanderpuyster) discussing art and social standing in what appears to be an artist's studio. The humor targets several things: superficial compliments about art ("perfectly lovely"), obsession with exhibition attendance and social credentials, and cattiness masked by politeness. The dialogue mocks how these women reduce people to physical critiques (discussing a debutante's nose and teeth), pretend expertise they lack, and use art appreciation as social performance rather than genuine interest. The title's deadpan phrase captures how such circles substitute empty pleasantries for authentic conversation—a common Life magazine critique of Gilded Age society's hollowness.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“PERFECTLY LOVELY.” NOT EXACTLY A FARCE. Drawing-room of Mrs, Stuyvesant Vanderpuyster, Dimen- sions—Fifteen by twenty-five feet, Contents—Fourteen rigidly uncomfortable but highly ornamental chairs; one divan covered with a rug and four Persian pillows ; one spinet ; sixteen water- colors with India silks of varied hues hung over the frames; seven vases; eight tables holding as many lamps; twenty-three paint- ings in oil; one catalogue of the Morgan sale, bound in crushed levant; two Japanese screens; one bisque monkey endeavoring to climb on a silken cord from the card receiver on the centre table to the crystal knob of the chandelier. (The front-door bell rings and Miss Emily Munnibags, accom- panied by her fond mamma, enters the room.) EMIty (i @ whisper): What atrocious taste! See that ochre scarf hanging over the sky-blue water-color on the corner easel ! Fonp Mamata (hearing the rustling of a dress and the syucak of a hand on the banisters without): Yes, indeed ; it is a charming harmony of color ! (Enter Mrs, Vanderpuyster.) Mrs. VANDERPUYSTER : So charmed to see you, Mrs, Munnibags, and your sweet daughter Emily, (Smirks and kisses both.) Fonp Mamata: How well you are looking ! Isn't she looking well, Mamma! Mrs. VANDERPUYSTER: Well, really now, I am so glad to hear T haven't been feeling very well lately. But you, Mrs. gS, are a perfect picture of health, and I see the roses in Emily's cheeks are by no means faded. (The roses in Emily's cheeks change from Marechal Niels to Jacque- minots in acknowledgment of the compliment.) Fonp Maxima: Emily was just saying, as you entered the room, how sweetly you had fixed everything here. So artistic, you know. Emtty: Yes, dear Mrs. Vanderpuyster, it is charming. Just like cousin Robert's studio, which is said by his brother painters to be quite the most artistically arranged room in New York. Mrs, VANDERPUYSTER (Aeaming): Yes, so I have heard. cousin is such a clever painter ! Your His water-color at the exhibition is—— | Eatuty: You mean the oil, Mrs. Vanderpuyster, I think ? Mrs, VANDERPUYSTER (twho has not been to the exhibition): No; 1 think——Ob-h-h, yes; it is an oil, now I remember. But it is so ex- quisitely done; so—er—so—well, so very delicate, you know, that I really thought it was a water-color. I should have known. So stupid of me. Foxp Mama: Ob, not at all, Mrs, Vanderpuyster. (Embarrassing Pause.) Mrs. VANDERPUYSTER: Ab, by the way, Emily, how have you recovered from your Wednesday evening's dissipation ? EmiLy: Wasn't the cotillon divine ? 1 could dance forever under such circum- stances. Mrs, VaNDERPUYSTER : What did you think of thedebutante? Wasn't she sweet? EmtLy: Indeed, she looked perfectly lovely. Quite the prettiest girl in the room, Foxp Mamma: Yes, I consider Eve- line Rosebud a beautiful girl. Perfectly lovely ; but—er, did you notice anything peculiar about her mouth ? Eauty: You mean her nose, Mamma. Don't you know, you said you thought it was crooked ? Mars. VANDERPUYSTER: Well, now that you speak of it, there #s something gueer about both, Her teeth, I think, rather spoil her mouth, ‘They are so large, and it seems to me that they pro- trude a little. Fox Masa: No, Mrs. Vanderpuy- ster; I don’t think it is her teeth so much as the peculiar shape of the mouth itself, and a—er—a lack of color in her lips that mar an otherwise exquisitely mold- ed face—ah, that is, excepting her nose, which is a trifle crooked. Quite the Prettiest Girl in the Room, comicbooks.com