Life, 1887-03-31 · page 12 of 16
Life — March 31, 1887 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Explanation of Life Magazine Page (Page 182) This page contains several humorous short pieces typical of Life's satirical content: **"Couldn't Look Like It"** (top): A joke about umbrella theft. Smith claims Brown's lost umbrella couldn't be his because he deliberately altered it—scraping and changing the handle. The humor lies in Smith inadvertently confessing to the theft while denying it. **"Palmistry"** (right): A romantic poem about a young couple secretly meeting near plants. The boy reads the girl's palm, flirtatiously "predicting" she'll marry him—a playful seduction disguised as fortune-telling. The girl blushes and accepts, asking when they'll marry. **"Filthy Lucre"**: A cynical dialogue where an elder advises that money doesn't bring happiness, but the young man agrees while listing luxuries money *does* buy (travel, fine dining, opera dates), revealing money's actual appeal. **"O, Certainly!"**: An Irish-accented cook's invitation mishap—unclear context without more page content. **"Force of Habit"**: A lost wayfarer asks directions but the Editor assumes he wants to *advertise* his lostness, reflecting contemporary newspaper culture.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
COULDN'T LOOK LIKE IT. Brown ; WHOSE UMBRELLA IS THIS? IT LOOKS LIKE ONE I LOST. Smith: | DON'T SEE HOW IT CAN, FOR I SCRAPED THE HANDLE AND ALTERED IT GENERALLY. PALMISTRY. OGETHER, distant from the crowd, Which moves about with noise unending ; Far from their jests and laughter loud We two a quiet hour are spending. We've slipped away—we hope, unseen— Her mother's watchful eye evading, ‘To where the palms and aloes lean, With kind intent the corners shading. We talk of—nothing. Now and then A silence comes, replete with meaning. A painful hush is broken, when She—just a trifle closer leaning— Asks, ‘‘ Can you read my hand and tell What secrets Life and Time are keeping ; Whom I shall marry—ill or well— And shall I know most smiles or weeping ?”” One little glove is laid aside ; A tiny hand in mine is resting ; Two perfect eyes, with question wide, Make matters more than interesting. “Within your hand I see full well Most hopes fulfilled—most wishes granted ; Life holds a secret Time will tell, And love will come, with touch enchanted. “Whom shall you marry? If aright I read the lines I here discover, You'll wed with him who, here, to-night, Declares himself your ardent lover !” I pause. Her eyes look up—then down. ‘A blush from cheek to brow is spreading ; Then, with a smile which hope does crown, She asks, ‘‘ When shall we have our wedding?” S.D. Sy Jr. FILTHY LUCRE. ““ ONEY, my dear young friend,” said an elderly adviser, “doesn’t alone bring happiness in this world.” “TI know it doesn’t, sir,” responded the young man, frankly. | “Tt only brings terrapin, and small bottles, and trips to Europe, and canvas-backs, and lying a-bed late in the morn- ings, and taking tailor-made girls to the opera nights, and all that sort of grief and misery. Give me a contented mind and—say $20,000 a year, and somebody else can have the money,” he concluded, with fine scorn. POTTER'S FIELD: The Diocese of New York. O, CERTAINLY! EW COOK (to Materfamilias): “ Oi hev jist bin afther sindin’ out me invitayshuns for a foive o'clock tay an the twinty-sivinth, an’ if yez would be afther havin’ an ingagemint to doine out an that day it would be a grate con- vaynance to me!” and offer a reward for it ? FORCE OF HABIT. AYFARER: I beg your pardon sir, I have lost my way. Will— Epitor: Lost your way, eh. Well, why don’t you advertise By Jove! an old wind- mill; just what I want. T'll go around and get a The front view. front view. i comicbooks.com