Life — March 17, 1887 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A BOX PARTY. Ané then, with lazy languor sinking HE curtain’s up, and Faust is singing Upon the box's foremost chairs, His vain desire for love and youth ; | Ces dames prepare to show, unthinking, His tender tones are sweetly ringing | Their own (no, not the opera's) airs, Two master-minds’ eternal truth. ‘They forthwith add, with laugh and chatter, Half tranced, the people sit and listen— | Their quota to the whole effect : So sweet the tenor never sang ; What though they spoil a scene—what matter? With notes so bright they seem to glisten, ‘They do as their sweet wills direct. When—hark ! what means that awful bang? And so they rattle on unceasing, Tis but the door of Box A closing, Until the curtain falls at last— Released by white-gloved, careless hand ; A worried audience releasing Four men, five ladies enter, posing From interruption fierce and fast. The “ rabble’s” wonder to command. ‘And as they go where supper's waiting — Now cloaks and wraps with downy lining Game, oysters, terrapin and wine — Slip from their wearers’ many charms, The fairest of them all is stating, Showing, with costly stuff’s outlining, | ‘She thinks the Opera ‘‘ just divine !” Considerable neck and arms. S.D.S. Jr. AN EXPLANATION. RS. DE BOGGS: “Have you heard how Mrs. De Peyster—she that was Sallie Van Cott—has received the degree of A.M. from Wellesley?” Mrs. WAYBACK: “No; I haven't heard. What does A.M. mean?” Mrs. DE Boccs: “ Why, it stands for | alma mater, of course. Didn’t you know she had two children?” RS. GNU VORICH says that she is | going to take a cottage somewhere in New Jersey this season; but it is a seve quinine that there shall be no malaria. A WEDDING GIFT. She: WHAT POSSESSED YOUR UNCLE TO SEND US SUCH A THING ? He: OH! I SUPPOSE IT's FINE, YOU KNOW THE OLD MAN WRITES THAT WB MAY NOT LIKE IT AT FIRST, BUT IT WILL GROW UPON US. She: Growl _Goop HEAVENS | THAT WOULD BE TOO MUCH, HE does a driving business—The cabman. | NEW DEFINITIONS. AW. An élaborate tergiversation for defeating the ends of justice. RESPONSIBILITY. A pair of boots that cramp the feet and are frequently thrown in a neighbor's door-yard. MIND. A scientific postulate from which we deduce the theory that the Ego is self-existing and that human reason is superior to divine wisdom. Satoon. A political training-school ; an educator in politics. LoVE (o6s.). An old-time superstition, the result of nympholepsy. FRIENDSHIP. A reciprocal relation for securing benefits whose continu- ance depends upon the susceptibility of one mind to being duped by another. BANKRuPT. A man who demonstrates his failure to live at the expense of other people by making an assignment, and gives his money to the lawyérs so his creditors can’t get it. CHEEK. A superior test of business capacity ; political assets. TaRIFF REFORM. (A synonym for OLD YARN.) An old stocking in the hands of the politicians, which is being re-knit by one set as fast as it is unraveled by another. Harold Van Santvoord. _ ALSO, OUR YOUNG AFFECTIONS RUN TO wWalIST. —Byron. comicbooks.com