Life — November 18, 1886 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

~EIPE : AT SEIQSPR SHERIFF: Now, sir, prepare to meet your doom, and here is a white shirt the country supplies for you. ANARCHIST : Alas! has it come to that ? — Graphic, OLp GENTLEMAN: And how old are you, my little man? LittLe Freppte: I’m not old at all, sir; I’m nearly new. — Ex. Aw NvLLy Tne paragraph saying that Geronimo is pronounced ‘‘ Heeronimo” has reached San Angelo, where they ought to know how to pronounce the name, and leads the Standard to exclaim: ‘Hood Hracious! what is he hiving us? What a hay and a hiddy style of talk this hen- tleman would het us into. By hosh, we won't have it. Hoto! Ho to! —W. ¥. Sun. ACCIDENTAL | BRowN : Hello, Jones! How’s your wife ? Jones (A little deaf): Very blustering and disagreeable again this morning. « Jou,” said the proprietor of the beach restaurant,‘‘ you'll have to take a spade and go down to the beach and try and find aclam. The one we made the chowder with is missing. Been eaten by some ‘of the guests, I guess. By jingo, these city folks want the earth.” — Boston Courier. MANY FATHERS DO. A CORRESPONDENT writes : ‘I am in love with a young lady, but too bashful to propose. Who can help me out ?” We should say her father could; that is, if you happen to stay too late. — New Haven News. 313 OF manners, as of language, there is no absolute standard, and usage determines what is proper. How widely usage may vary ap- pears from an anecdote in the Boston Record, . g.: It was at a coun- try Sunday-school picnic, where great quantities of the regulation eatables, chiefly apple pies, had been brought for the children to eat. Little Mary Jane, from away back in the hills, was there, and with her her mother, who kept an eye on the child constantly to see that her behavior was perfect. Presently Mary Jane was observed, digging into an apple pie with her knife, whereupon her mother spoke up : “ Mary Jane Beals !” ““What, ma’am?” ‘* What be you a-doin’ ?” ‘Eatin’ pie, ma'am.” ‘* What be you a-eatin’ it with ?” “ Knife.” “So you be! Now what have I told you about eatin’ pie with your knife, Mary Jane? Take that pie up in your hand and eat as you'd ought to !"— Rochester Union. A SOLDIER, on foreign service, recently wrote the following terse, but pithy, epistle to his wife: ‘Dear Mary—I hain’t hered from you fur so long that I hev forgot I was married; and tell the gospels truth, I hev forgot you, and got married meself to a Eguptian woman. Trustin’ this won't make no differents in our relationship when I comes back, I ham your affekshunate 'usband, J—— W—."— Fun. A GERMAN school teacher was instructing his pupils how to act when the Grand Duke should pass through on the railroad, an event which was to occur the next day. ‘‘ Remember, children,” said the pedagogue, ‘‘ that as soon as the train arrives you are to shout as loud as you can, ‘ Long live the Grand Duke !’ until he leaves.” The next day, when the Grand Duke arrived at the station, and bowed graciously from the platform of the special carriage, the school children made the welkin ring with—‘ Long live the Grand Duke Mr. Corning’s trip to Tangiers in December, to execute commissions for Moorish Decorations, offers unusual advantages to those intending to furnish apartments or buildings in the Moorish style, since, as far as practicable, he ‘will make selections directly from the native houses, thus insuring the most satisfactory results. Correspondence solicited and sketches made, if desired. Special attention given to Smoking Rooms, and Trophies for Halls, Billiard Rooms, Clubs and Students’ Rooms. JOHN HERBERT CORNING, 206 and 207 Temple ‘Court, N. Y. City. BOSTON AND WASHINGTON. 7 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St., NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. LUNDBORG'S > ine LADIES’ Ap and LADIES' ROUND HATS. until he leaves !"—77d-Bits. TAILOR. HABIT MAKER and HATTER or 19 EAST 21st STREET, NEW YORK, CELEBRATED HATS § SOLICITS an Inspec tion of his Fall Im- portations in ‘Woolens and Fabrics Selected from Leading Manufacturers in Euro- pean markets, Designs and Styles in Novelties certain to lease are now to beseen y patrons and ladies who 9x4 Chestnut St., Phila. require = Perfect Fit andS rictly, Tailor Made Perfume BRADLEY & HE BRIDE § WHITE HOUSE. By P. H. WILLIAMS. Price 25 Cents. Agents wanted, Write for particulars. COMPANY, 66 N. 4th 8t, Phila. lackets, Coats, Gowns, Wraps,’ etc., etc., for the Drive,’ House or d's Wife, with a Street. ertzed by here Rupinc Hasrts Mave or Fauctiess Fit, EDENIA Composed of the best poems, selected from ‘Lif colors. The daintiest book ever published. Price, $1.50, postage paid. Also, “THE GOOD THINGS OF LIFE.” Second Series. Price, $2.50 Send remittance by check to order of “LIFE'S VERSES!” beautifully bound and illustrated. Cover in + LIFE - 1155 BROADWAY, NEW YORK. LUNDBORG'S Rhenish Cologne, CROSBY’S VITALIZED PHOSPHITES. Strengthens the intellect, restores lost functions, builds up worn-out nerves, promotes good digestion, cures all weaknesses and nervousness. 56 West asx Srraet, Naw York. For Sate py Drucists, or MAIL, $2103, comicbooks.com