Life — November 4, 1886 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- EDEE: SAVED FROM THE WRECK. WALK through the fashionable and business thor- oughfares of this city discloses a most interesting fact, and a most comforting fact withal. When the Oregon went to the bottom last March, there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth over the loss not | only of ship, but of cargo. There wete those who did not | hesitate to place the value of the submerged merchandise at a figure which demanded so many zeros at the tail end, that | the naught trade was seriously crippled in the endeavor to | meet the requirements of the occasion. | One individual declared that the sea had swallowed up a | cool hundred thousand of his with a facility that would make | a Wall street magnate green with envy. | The aggregate demands of passengers for insurance, dam- | age and incidental expenses, such as stomach pumps for the | removal of salt water swallowed while telling the captain what he ought to do, mounted up nigh on to four millions of | dollars. P | In view of this fact it is gratifying, not to say surprising, that the shop windows now show that there has been recov- ered, to date: Silverware now valued at Portraits of Mrs. Langtry . Walking-sticks A Featherweight umbrellas Diamonds . ae Materials for cheap relics . . . . . Cork hats found floating above wreck Wine . oo Miscellaneous articles . $2,000,000 10,000 15,500 16,500 7,000,000 22,000 5,000 20,000 1,000,000 Total . + $10,089,000 Deducting from this the value of the ship, and allowing a | million to cover the expense of working the mine, as well as | the estimated cost of the relic vein, the Oregon disaster has netted about two million dollars. | The government should take some note of this. With the | aid of a cargo on the Za//afoosa and a friendly coal-barge, | taxation might be considerably lightened. | WHERE TO RESIDE. A GOOD place for anarchists — Bombay. No ring there— Belfast. FREE from riots — Concord. A RURAL resort for milkmen — Cowes. A RETREAT for scolding women — Shrewsbury. AFrorpsrare facilities to fugitives escaping from justice — Hyde Park. A DESIRABLE place for inquisitive people — Pekin. WHERE one may find plenty of game — Lyons. A POPULAR resort for gamblers — Lucknow. THE first in importance — Leeds. Ir has no fascination for dogs — Bologna. HV.S. A REASONABLE REQUEST. Youthful Bostonian: MaMMa, ARE'NT MR. HOLMES AND MR. LOWELL BOTH ABSENT FROM THE CITY ? Mamma: | BELIEVE THEY ARE, DEAR. Y. B.: WELL, can’T I CALL MY TROUSERS “‘ PANTS" JUST WHILE THEY'RE AWAY? IT PUT HIS HEAD IN A WHEARL. HERE was once an English Earl, Who loved an American gearl. When he found her ‘‘ Estate” Was a house and back-gate, It frightened his hair out of cearl. WHY THE CZAR KILLED DE REUTERN: ECAUSE: He stood in the ante-chamber with his tunic unbuttoned. Because: He buttoned his tunic hastily, as if drawing a revolver. Because : He approached the Czar on the run. Because : His sister married the Grand Duke Alexis. Because : By a disrespectful answer he put the Czar in a rage. How the Czar killed de Reutern : He cut him down with a sabre. He shot him dead with a pistol. He ran him through with a sword. He shot him through the heart with a revolver. (Extracts from the daily press.) Clarence Stetson. R. Haut: Surveying the political field, Mr. Grabbem, and considering the methods of our leaders and the movements of the masses, what age does this epoch in the social and political history of the race remind you of ? MR. GRABBEM : Patronage, sir. comicbooks.com